38 MensHealth.com | December 2016From left: Bradley C. Bower/Bloomberg/Getty Images, Natalia Mantini/thelicensingproject.com, courtesy Debby HerbenickUseful
StuffFor Better Sex, Ask Her This
A quick bedroom
Q&A can lead
t o o n e h e c k o f a n O.WHEN TO ASK IT After sex. Studies
show that the more time couples
spend talking afterward, the more sex-
ually satisfied they are, says Amanda
Denes, Ph.D., a pillow-talk expert (yep)
from UConn. Feeling safe and satisfied
helps you both open up, Denes says.
T hat ’s b e c ause hav ing an o rg asm (she
did, right?) floods the brain with the
“cuddle hormone,” oxytocin, while lev-
els of cortisol, a stress hormone, drop.
And talk about an easy segue.WHY IT WORKS This simple
query (make sure you answer it too)
is a go o d w ind ow in to yo ur p ar tner ’s
preferenc es. Yo u’ll eac h lear n o r b e
reminded of what works. That’s what
sexual communication is all about,
says Denes—talking about what you
like and how you like it. Coax out the
details: the setting, timing, specific
angles, positions, types of touch. It’s
all valuable intel that’ll improve your
sex life. And who knows? The nostalgia
rush could lead to a reenactment.THE PAYOFF Sex t alk w ill b e easier
from now on, says Sean Horan, Ph.D.,
a communication expert at Texas
State University. Like any skill, it gets
simpler with practice. That’s important
because sexual communication is
associated with sexual satisfaction
and passion, according to a recent
study in the Journal of Sex Research.
The study also found that satisfied
couples are more likely than dissatis-
fied ones to try the ideas they read in
magazine articles. (Hint, hint.)Make a Healthy Donation
American Foundation
for Suicide Prevention
Suicide rates are rising, so
this group has a critical mis-
sion: research, advocacy,
education, and screening
for people at risk. New
research to map the brains
of people who’ve attempted
suicide aims to develop
better treatments. afsp.orgColon Cancer Alliance
This advocacy group pro-
motes screening for colon
cancer, funds research on
the disease, and provides
support for people who
are affected by it. Its nation-
wide Undy Run/Walks
help spread the wo rd and
encourage us to get off our
butts. ccalliance.orgMichael J. Fox Foundation
for Parkinson’s Research
The largest private funder
of Parkinson’s research is
helping scientists create a
Listerine-type mouth strip to
help patients quickly restore
motor function when the
effects of levodopa, a drug
that treats the disease,
wear off. michaeljfox.orgThese nonprofits aim to solve threats to men’s health—and they use their funds well.“What would you
say is the best
sex we ever had?”
Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., is
d i r e c to r of t h e C e nte r fo r
Sexual Health Promotion at
Indiana University.My girlfriend wants
to get a n I U D. Wi l l t h i s
affect our sex life?
ALLEN, AURORA, CO
Sure: It’ll put your mind
at ease. A n I U D, o r in tr a -
uterine device, is very
effective and may be less
likely than other forms of
contraception to dampen
her libido, research sug-
gests. That said, possible
sid e ef fe c ts , like b le e d ing
or cramping, could inter-
fere with sex. And some
people say they can feel
the string that passes
through the cervix and
into the vagina; it’s rarely
felt during intercourse
but may be noticed during
finger play. For extra
pregnancy protection or
to re duc e the r isk of ST Is ,
use a condom too.I’m not really into
giving oral, but my
wife loves it. How can
I enjoy it more?
TOM, SHAKER HEIGHTS, OH
Let her know you’re
trying and it’s about you,
not her. Your game plan:
Try it for a few moments
at a time, between doing
whatever else you two
find pleasurable. Do
this regularly and you’ll
acquire the taste—or at
least a tolerance. I once
overcame an aversion
to olives by eating one a
day (chased by water or
chocolate). Soon I loved
o li ves so muc h that I ate
20 in one afternoon.
Swap olives for vulvas
and this is your jam.Male
Confidential
DEBBY HERBENICK,
PH.D., M.P.H.