Womens_Health_Australia_December_2016

DECEMBER 2016 womenshealth.com.au 135

You’ve always had the ability to transform me: my

moods, my emotions, my physical appearance. When

I was three, you turned dance classes into adventures

by making me a tiger or a fairy, and I loved the way you

moved and made me feel. You’ve always had energy to

burn and it’s lucky that I found ballet at a young age.

Sure, there were days you didn’t want to go to class,

when you were tired and sore. My love of ballet was

all consuming. But I am writing this to tell you how

grateful I am that you never gave up on it.

I had mixed feelings towards you during our teen years,

and I’m sorry if I wasn’t always appreciative. When other

girls developed breasts and hips and blossomed into

women, I couldn’t help but feel jealous. The boys didn’t look at you the

same way they looked at them. You didn’t really change shape until

18, and then not much at all. The narrow hips and small breasts remained.

In the ballet world, this was great. The long, lithe look that for so many

epitomises the grace of a dancer was still what I saw in the mirror.

It’s what I still see today and, believe me, I spend a lot of time checking

you out. As a ballerina, I am hyper-aware of you. Every waking moment of

the day I’m conscious of what’s going on, inside and out. Does anything

hurt? Are you lethargic? Do you need a snack? Some more sleep? I don’t

know if most people could ever imagine what it’s like to be so close to

their body, so intimately connected to their physical nature.

I am hard on you, I know. The bad back, the sore hip, the foot that needed

surgery have all been ways that you have spoken to me. I try to listen, but

sometimes I push you to your limits and you let me know, quite clearly,

that you are done. And then, instead of listening, I push you just that little

bit more. I know this hurts but, to be honest, this is where I think you owe

me some thanks too, Body. While there have been many times that you

have proven capable of something I at first thought was impossible, there

have been times that I have carried you through a challenge and shown

you that you are stronger than you think. That elation that you feel on the

other side of pushing past some imagined limitation is indescribable.

There have been so many roles and characters I have had the privilege of

becoming but having Stravinsky’s

The Firebird

choreographed for me in

2009 was surreal. Dancing the role through you, Body, you made me so

happy and proud. You astounded me with your ability to communicate

with an audience of strangers. I know you’re not always happy with your

performance. I can feel your reluctance during curtain call when you are

disappointed in yourself – I feel that way too sometimes – but other nights,

when you know the audience is there with you, make it all worth it.

Today, I am enjoying the way you are ageing. There is a depth of wisdom

and experience that you hold now and bring to my dancing that can

only come from having lived some years. I mean, really, what does a

15-year-old know of love and loss? You have been described in reviews

as joyous, raw, powerful, mesmerising and, because of you I get to say

‘I’m a ballerina’, which is an honour that few will ever know and for that

I am eternally grateful.

Dear Body,

Love, Edie

EDIE, 29, IS

A PROFESSIONAL

BALLET

DANC ER

ISSUE

THE

#stronghealthyyou