24 GQ.COM.AU FEBRUARY 2017peopleareworseoffwhiletheyhaveseen
others soar. And they’ve seen politicians focus
almost entirely on themselves while doing
little for the people who need help.
So,withtrustininstitutionssuchas
government and the news media at an
all-time low, no reliable information with
no time to think about it, acute economic
uncertaintyandaworldinatrulychaotic
transition between the past and the future,
some desperate decisions have been made.
InthecaseofTrumpandBrexit,thechoice
wasmadetobelievethosewhosaidthey
couldgobacktothepast.Theychose
thecandidateswho,withahealthydoseof
blaming outsiders, swore to unscramble the
most complicated one-way omelette ever
created.Anotentirely
unreasonable decision,
becauseinaworldof
nothingbutshit,why
notchoosetheshit
that smells the best?
Andwhat’shappening
now? Many people are
waiting for their bet to
payoff.Columnistsare
tellingpeoplewhattheir
odds are, while powerful
opportunists are using
this moment of chaos
andmisinformationto
look after themselves.
Westillhavenoagreed
setoffacts.Andaman
whose highest previous
accolade was membership
of the World Wrestling
Entertainment Hall Of
Fame is now the leader
ofthefreeworld.We’re
in uncharted waters, to
say the least.
What’s next? Don’t ask
me–I’mjustacolumnist.
ButIwishGeorgiaand
Lee every happiness.Charlie Pickering
B
ythetimeyouread
this,DonaldJTrump
will have taken the oath
of office and become
the 45thPresident of
theUnitedStates.*
Anoteworthyfactis
that he’s actually the
44 thPresident – Grover Cleveland was elected
ontwooccasionsandforreasonslosttothe
sandsoftime,iscountedtwice.Butthat’snot
themostnoteworthyincident–thathonour
goestothesimplefactthatDonaldJTrump,
mostfamousforbeingarealityTVstar, is
the new leader of the free world.
Right now, opinion columnists the world
overarehypothesisingaboutwhattheworld
will be like under President Trump. If the
past 12 months have taught us anything,
it’sthatopinioncolumnistsareterribleat
predictions. They were sure that the Brexit
referendum would fail. They were sure that
Hillary would win. They were positive that
Georgia would pick Matty inThe Bachelorette.
Againstalltheodds,soundreasoning,hot
editorialtakesandbetterjudgement,none
ofthesethingshappened.Trumpwillbe
President.Britainwillbeanisland.And
LeeandGeorgiawillbegracingthe cover
ofmagazinesforweekstocome.
It’s here that I’ll make a realistic prediction
–thecolumnistswillhavelearntnothing.
They’llbebashingawaysayingwhat
tomorrowwillbewhenfewofthemhave
turned their editorial ability to two more
pressing questions – what just happened
andwhatishappeningnow?Unlesswe
canfigurethemout,thennotonlydowe
notknowwhatwillhappen next, we’ll be
woefully unprepared.
OK,sowhatjusthappened?Basically,the
internet.Humanshaveaccesstovastlymore
informationthanthey’veeverhadbefore,or
could ever possibly hope to process, let alone
*TRUMP TAKES THE OATH ON JANUARY 20, 2017, BARRING AIRACL TRAGEDY. ILLUSTRATION: GUY SHIELD.“TRUMP’S IN THE WWE
HALL OF FAME – AND
NOWHE’SLEADEROF
THE FREE WORLD.”
inside
WHAT
COMES
NEXT?
i
retain.Wespendlesstimethaneverthinking
about things. We just consume, before
moving on to the next click.
Atthesametime,informationcanbe
pumped into the world by anyone. Some
of it is yelling opinions at people. Other
partsareinsultsthatwouldbedeemedunfit
forcivilsocietyonly10yearsago.Someof
it’sgood,bypeoplewhoapplyjournalistic
rigour.Someofit’sopinion,withoutfactual
underpinnings, but dressed up as good
information.Andsomeofit’sfakemadeto
look real. The result is that we have no agreed
setoffactsuponwhichtobase our decisions
as people and as societies.
Simultaneously, this technological leap
hascreatedatrulyglobaleconomy.Instead
ofacompanycompetingwithinastate,it’s
competingwithbusinessesontheotherside
oftheworld.Thishasbeengreatforsome
–techandmediacompanieshavebecome
billionairefactories.Thepeopleatthetop
arebetteroffthanthey’veeverbeen.But
thepeopleatthebottomaresinking.Some
jobs have changed countries. Many more
have been replaced by technology. A lot ofNOT THE CITY,
THE TV SHOW.
ILOVEHIP
HOP.BUTTOBE
HONEST, THE
THING I HATE
ABOUT IT TODAY
IS RAPPERS
BRAGGING
ABOUT
MONEY AND
POSSESSIONS.
ENTERATLANTA,
ACOMEDY/
DRAMAABOUT
AHIP-HOP
MANAGER
STARTING OUT
AT THE BOTTOM.
ATL ANTA GAVE
THE WORLD
OUTKAST AND
CEELO GREEN,
SO ITS HIP-HOP
HERITAGE IS
LEGENDARY. THIS
IS A GREAT FOIL
TO THE BLING
AND BITCHES
SIDE OF THE BIZ.CHARLIE
LOVES