TUESDAY, JUNE 7 , 2022. THE WASHINGTON POST EZ RE C3
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TV HIGHLIGHTS
America’s Got Talent (NBC at 8)
The second round of auditions
begins with the return of the golden
buzzer, which instantly whisks a
contestant to the live voting
rounds.
Holey Moley (ABC at 8) Kansas
City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce
guests as the Distractor.
Superman & Lois (CW at 8) Clark
and Lois debate how to track down
Ally Allston in the Inverse World;
John Henry stumbles on new
information.
The Chase (ABC at 9) Victoria
Groce returns as a chaser.
The Real Housewives of Miami
(Bravo at 9) Lisa is struggling with
home affairs, and Lenny is only
making things more difficult.
Tom Swift (CW at 9) Tom has to
encroach on a family rival’s estate
to uncover clues to find his father
Mayans M.C. (FX at 10) The M.C.
tries to stake out a new partnership
to reclaim their glory.
Who Do You Believe? (ABC at 10)
A woman’s husband is murdered in
bed the night of their anniversary
and a bizarre series of he-said, she-
said ensues between her and her
son.
Dancing With Myself (NBC at
10:01) Some of the contestants
this week include a grandma and a
video game creator.Origins of Hip-Hop (A&E at 10:01)
The rapid-fire flow of Busta Rhymes
is chronicled in the next entry of
this docuseries.SPECIALS
TMZ Presents Johnny Vs. Amber:
From Love to Hate (Fox at 9) The
celebrity tabloid news outlet
explores the saga of the recent
court battle between Johnny Depp
and Amber Heard.RETURNING
All Rise (OWN at 8) Season 3.LATE NIGHT
Tonight Show/Fallon (NBC at
11:34) Melissa McCarthy, Henry
Winkler, Iman Vellani, Marcus King.Late Show/Colbert (CBS at 11:35)
Robert De Niro, Rosie Perez.Late Late Show/Corden (CBS at
12:37) Patrick Schwarzenegger, Tig
Notaro, Dustin Nickerson.Late Night/Meyers (NBC at 12:37)
Adam Sandler, Post Malone, James
Patterson, Joe Russo.— Hau Chu
TERENCE PATRICK/NETFLIX
That’s My Time With David Letterman (Netflix) The former “Late Show”
host continues his streaming programming with a focus on stand-up in
which comedians (such as Rosebud Baker, pictured) perform a quick set
before sitting down for an interview with Letterman.
Manners remembers these
phrases, let alone the distinctions
among them. People today are
“best”-ing one another, often
without specifying whether these
are best regards or best wishes.
That is all the more reason that
your correspondents may be
impressed with the dignity of
using formal language.New Miss Manners columns are
posted Monday through Saturday on
washingtonpost.com/advice. You can
send questions to Miss Manners at
her website, missmanners.com. You
can also follow her
@RealMissManners.© 2 022, by Judith Martinletters and emails signed with
“Sincerely Yours,” which I believe
to be a more personal closing. I
have changed my closing
statement to “Respectfully Yours.”
Your thoughts on this matter?It’s not that we don’t respect our
business associates, but
traditionally, “Respectfully yours”
(no need to capitalize the “yours”)
is reserved for the highest
officials of state or religion, and
“Sincerely yours” is, as you note,
for social contacts to whom you
would not send love.
“Yours truly” is the correct
sign-off for business
correspondence.
Of course, nobody except Misslunch.
So if you were to say anything,
it should not be until you know
she is headed home, where a well-
groomed lady would have a
magnifying mirror as well as
tweezers. And what you would
say would be, “Is that something
caught on your chin?”
However, do you really need to
say anything? Is it that unsightly?
Is the partner eventually
returning? More importantly, do
you know your friend well
enough to judge whether she
would be grateful or
embarrassed?Dear Miss Manners : In the
business world, I have seenhasn’t been there to point it out to
her.
If someone had spinach caught
in their teeth, I would let them
know in a subtle manner, as I
would hope they would for me.
Letting someone know they have
a stray hair they missed on their
chin seems quite harder. And
while I would certainly want
someone to let me know, I was at
a loss on how to address it, if I
should at all.The spinach rule , which assumes
that the problem can be fixed
instantly, does not apply here, as
Miss Manners doubts that your
well-groomed friend packs
tweezers when going out tothe excuse of claiming not to
understand.
Why are we saying it in French,
anyway? The correct English
version is, “The favor of a reply is
requested.”Dear Miss Manners : When I had
lunch with a friend, it became
clear that she had missed
plucking a long, coarse hair on
the front of her chin. She is 75
years old, but most would assume
she’s 55-60. She is always stylish
and well-groomed.
Given her age, I am guessing
she just didn’t see it, as she might
have when she was younger. She
noted that her longtime partner
was away for the season, so heDear Miss
Manners : What is
the correct way of
wording for my
wedding
invitations? I
don’t want to be
rude and just put,
“Please RSVP so
we can have a
head count for the food.”
Could we retire the term “RSVP”
(correctly punctuated as
“R.s.v.p.”)? It has confused even
you. Your “please” is redundant,
as that is what the “s.v.p.” stands
for.
And neither you nor Miss
Manners wants to give anyone
To make sense of ‘RSVP,’ English speakers must understand a foreign language
Miss
Manners
JUDITH
MARTIN,
JACOBINA
MARTIN AND
NICHOLAS
IVOR MARTIN
world’s attention on social media.
“Sometimes it takes a foreign eye
to make you see something in
your own culture in a different
way,” he says. “If you are living in
a culture, things are obvious and
understood, and it has always
been like this — but when some-
one from the outside notices it,
then you suddenly see it.”Tindre acknowledges that the
idea of anyone not feeding a child
under their roof seems strange,
which makes it good fodder for
social media pile-ons that can
ding reputations — not just for
celebrities, but possibly for an
entire country’s people. He hopes
people don’t see Swedes as un-
kind, pointing to its spot at the
top of the “Good Country Index,”
which measures contributions to
the common good of humanity,
through such things as climate
and food aid.
“On a societal level, it’s hard to
argue that Sweden is not welcom-
ing and has great hospitality,” he
says.the United States.
Kindvall, 55, remembers chil-
dren from her village often going
home from friend’s houses in
time for dinner with their own
families, but says her best friend,
who lived farther away, would
often hang out at her house and
be fed along with her family. “Of
course there was food for her,”
she says.
The tradition — wherever it
might have existed — died out,
Tellström says, because of the
changing way that children are
treated. Previous generations of
Swedes typically considered chil-
dren very different from adults.
“Children were considered to be
living almost in a parallel world,”
he says. “Children were children,
and parents and grown-ups were
in their own sphere.” Now, those
barriers have eroded; children
are engaged and participate in
grown-up conversations around
the dinner table and elsewhere,
he notes.
Tindre says he can’t imagine it
working today, since modern
Swedish families often rely on
each other for something that
many American parents can re-
late to: shuttling children around
to multiple activities, from violin
lessons to soccer games. In Swe-
den, parents call the daily dance
of picking up and dropping off as
figuring out “lives pussel” — life’s
puzzle — which often involves
carpooling and kids eating to-
gether.
Tellström finds the conversa-
tions around Swedish dining fas-
cinating, noting that it’s some-
thing he and his Swedish friends
are suddenly discussing on Face-
book, all because it drew thesouthern European countries.
“We just don’t do that up north,”
Tellström says.
Plenty of Swedish people
might never have experienced
being denied food at a friend’s
house, making the online debate
around it murky. Johanna Kind-
vall is an illustrator and cook-
book author who grew up in
Sweden and now splits her time
between her native country and
Brooklyn. “I had never heard
about this before,” she says. “I
think this could have happened
here, too,” she says, referring toTindre said he wasn’t sure of
the origins, but he speculated
that it might have something to
do with his sense that Swedish
families are often more likely to
gather regularly with their im-
mediate families, rather than ex-
tended ones. Tellström echoed
that, explaining that because of
consolidating farmlands begin-
ning in the late 1700s and urban-
ization, families often lived apart
from their relatives. And so the
communal dining with aunts and
uncles and cousins isn’t as fre-
quent in Sweden as it is in many1990s to not be fed at a friend’s
home, and remembers instances
of it from his own childhood.
Tellström, 62, says the practice
had nothing to do with being
cruel or inhospitable — it was a
reflection of how Swedes viewed
families. “Eating was something
that you did at home,” he says.
“You didn’t feed other people’s
children — that would have been
considered a sort of intrusion in
another family’s life, with the
subtext of ‘You can’t feed your
children properly, so I will feed
them.’ ”pop star Zara Larson seemed to
confirm the little-known prac-
tice. “Peak Swedish culture <3
:’-)” she wrote. She later clarified
that it usually only happened to
kids.
Much of the reaction centered
on people’s horror — rooted in
their own family’s tendency to do
the opposite — with many ascrib-
ing that impulse to a larger cul-
ture they identify with. “From the
Southern US... the concept of
not aggressively feeding a guest is
literally unthinkable,” wrote one
Reddit commenter. “Mexican
person here, my family would
illegally go back to Mexico before
letting guests go hungry,” another
chimed in.
The pile-on, and the attendant
generalizations about his culture,
frustrated Lars-Erik Tindre, the
public diplomacy counselor at
the Swedish Embassy in Wash-
ington. He says the practice
wasn’t universal and doesn’t exist
among modern Swedish families,
including his own. “I believe that
it has some truth to it, but what
people miss in these comments is
that this happened in the ’70s and
’80s,” says Tindre, 47. “I have
children, and we have other kids
over for meals all the time.”
He and his friends growing up
had heard of families that didn’t
offer food to their young guests,
but it wasn’t something he ever
experienced, he says.
Richard Tellström, a food his-
torian and associate professor of
meal science at the Swedish Uni-
versity of Agricultural Sciences,
says it wouldn’t have been un-
common for a child up until the
HOSPITALITY FROM C1
Contrary to Reddit, kids can come to the table in Sweden
ISTOCK
A Reddit user’s post about not being included in dinner at a Swedish household set off an online frenzy.“I believe that it hassome truth to it, butwhat people miss inthese comments is thatthis happened in the’70s and ’80s.”
Lars-Erik Tindre, public diplomacy
counselor at the Swedish Embassy
in Washington