CLAIRE PEPPER
marieclaire.com.au 67“When people
are naked they
look like they’re
meant to look”into action and focus on an affirmation: “You are
more than enough”. I write it on a Post-it Note on my
wall and I hold it in my head to remind
myself that everything is fine as it is.
Maybe even more than fine.
India comes into my bedroom
and I’m nervously lying on the bed
naked, like Rose in Titanic. It’s made
even more awkward when she points
out the cash on the bedside table for
our cleaner who is coming the next day – “I’m not going
to include that in the drawing,” she says. I gulp down
a glass of white wine before we start.
Half an hour later, India is struggling with propor-
tions: “You’re going to have to stand up, mate,” she says.
“Sorry. I can’t see your body properly and that’s why
I keep giving you alien arms and legs.”
“Ugh, that’s going to be so unflattering,” I huff.
As I go to stand up stark naked, with my arms by my
side – I realise I’ve never had someone look at me like
this for a prolonged period of time. I push my shoulders
as far back as possible and arch my back (I’m told it
makes you look slimmer). I feel hugely embarrassed.
India sits back in her chair and looks me up and down.
“What?” I ask. “Do I look fat?”
“No, the opposite,” she says. “I was just thinking
you’ve got such a lovely hourglass shape.” I’m touched by
her compliment and the final drawing is nowhere near as
unflattering as I had anticipated.
The next evening, Belle draws me on her bed. Belle is
a skilled artist, and underplays how capable she is. I’m
more relaxed this time and I’m not surprised when she
finishes the drawing in 20 minutes flat.
She somehow captures every bit of me properly and
I’m amazed by how much I love it. I’m confronted by the
curve of my tummy and the roundness of my boobs and
the shape of my calves, but I think I look sort of fine.
I give Belle a hug and thank her for creating such a flat-
tering picture. She tells me she just drew what she saw.
Later that evening, I show the guy I’ve been dating
for a couple of months. “It’s sexy,” he says.
“It’s very forgiving,” I reply.
“Not really,” he says. “It just looks like you.”
I take a photo of the drawing and, to my astonish-
ment, start showing my friends when I’m out and two
glasses of wine down.
“Whose do you think these are?” I say, zooming in on
just my legs and showing the picture to my best friend.
“Well they’re yours, obviously,” she replies, instantly.
I may not love my naked body yet – I’m not sure
if I’ll ever get there – but I certainly feel fonder
of it, which in turn makes me feel more relaxed. I’m not
quite ready for a life of naturism, but I’m contemplating
taking Belle’s drawing to the framers. I want to keep
it forever, to remind me not to look at my body through
a critical, dysmorphic gaze, but rather through the eyes
of people who know me, my contours and curves.
Because they seem to think it’s sort of lovely.CHALLENGE