http://www.limelightmagazine.com.au
AREYOUAMANORAMOOSE?
Bewareoflockingantlersinatussleforartisticsupremacy,lest
youtumbleintomusic’sicyseaandliefrozenforalleternityGUY NOBLE’S SOAPBOX
S
omeyearsagoIreadabookbyAlain
de Botton calledStatus Anxiety.In
it he outlined the many and myriad
waysweashumanbeingssuccumbtothe
anxietyaboutwhatothersthinkofus;about
whetherwe’rejudgedasuccessorafailure,
awinneroraloser.Weallencounterthis
inourdailylives.Iwasinthemiddleofan
artistic argument recently and realised that
whatwasatstakewasnottheparticular
decision at hand, but rather who
was going to win. We were
liketwomaleadultmoose
locking antlers in a struggle
to establish supremacy.
Some people who
acquirestatusinonearea
finditdifficulttooperate
inareaswherethereisno
status.Imetafellowona
planecomingbackfromLondon
whoranasuccessfulbusinesshelping
peoplewhocouldn’tcopewithdrivingon
England’s motorways. One client was the
CEOofamajorcompanywithhisown
car space in London’s Oxford Street and
yethewassoterrifiedbythetrafficonthe
motorway that he eventually went from
thefastlanetotheslowlaneandthenoff
themotorwayaltogether,tryingtogetto
workinthebackcountrylanesuntilhejust
left the car at home. His problem wasn’t
afearoftraffic,itwasthefearofalackof
statusontheroad.Forhim,themotorway
was aLord of the Fliesjungle and he just
couldn’tcopewiththelackofcontrol.
There’salotofstatusinmusic.
Orchestrasarelikeagiantchickenyard
withawell-establishedpeckingorder.At
thetopofthelististheconductor.F.W.
Gaisberg, writing inGramophonein 1943,
gaveacontemporaryaccountofthefeared
rooster-maestroToscanini,notedforbaton
throwingandtempertantrums.“During
hisreignatLaScalathestagedoorkeeper
wouldgiveoutthebarometerreadings
forthedayaspeoplepassedthroughthe
door:‘Oggicalmo’or‘Oggitempesto’
(‘Today calm’ or ‘Today storm’).” Toscanini
sounds like an Italian Kerry Packer, a man
notafraidtothrowhisweightround.
Gaisbergtoldanotherstory.“Therewas
a young German producer (Herr Lert)engagedspeciallyfromBerlinfortheLa
Scala production ofTr istan.Imethimearly
onemorningoutsidethetheatreintears.
‘I can’t stand it,’ he said. ‘Last night, after
the performance, he had me on a lighting
rehearsaluptothreethismorning;thenhe
telephoned to tell me how bad I am and to
meethimat8o’clockformoretrials.Does
hethinkIdon’tknowmyjob?Iamgetting
out ofhere,backtoBerlin.’”
“AshespoketheMaestro,bright
andalert,appearedfrombehind
theporticowherewewere
standing and, seeing the
despondentLert,hegavehim
the ‘figliuolo mio’ and asked
himtoforgivethetelephone
call. He added that he had
been worked up and had to get
hisspleenoff,andLertwasthe
firstonehelitupon.AstheMaestro
passedon,aflushofpleasurespreadover
theGerman’sfaceandhesaidtome,‘Oh,
sothat’showitis!’andgaveasighofrelief.”
Atrulygreatleaderofpeopledoesn’t
make others feel worthless just because
heisinafoultemperorwrackedbyself-
doubt, but unfortunately that’s how we
often let bullies off the hook. Herr Lertshouldhavekickedtheoldbuggerinthe
shinsandtoldhimtolighthisowndamn
opera, seeing that he knew best anyway.
IfHerrLerthadbeenamoosehewould
have sorted the artistic argument out with
an hour or so of antler clashing until the
dominant male was established, although
antler clashing has its own dangers. In
Unalakleet,anAlaskantownonthecoast
oftheBeringSea,awalkercameacross
twomalemoosewhohadbeenfighting
andbecomesoentangledthattheyhad
fallenintoariver,whichhadsubsequently
frozenover.Theylaytherelockedtogether
in an icy embrace, a testament to a fight for
status that had gone very wrong.Lert should have
kicked the old bugger
andtoldhimtolight
his own damn opera