PUTTING YOUR FEET UPand airing your
grievances as an endearingly old Spanish man
lathers your face with a brush made of the
finest silver-tipped badger hair is, in a word,
therapeutic. Take comfort in knowing whatever
you say to him will go to his grave since barbers
are just like priests (sans the sexual repression
and obnoxious Latin references). Good luck
getting any information out of my barber,
Adolfo, whose name literally translates to
“noble wolf.”REAL MEN
CONFIDE IN
THEIR BARBER.
REAL MEN
EAT A FULL,
BALANCED
BREAKFAST.
A BIG BREAKFAST is important if you want
to feel fuelled throughout the day. I like to
go to a greasy spoon by my place, where
I always expect to be waited on by Val,
an old and husky waitress who sounds
like Groucho Marx if he killed Marlboros
instead of jokes, God love her. My typical
order is three fried eggs with bacon,
black coffee and a side of unwanted
sexual advances.90 MEN’S FITNESS JUNE 2017