AustrAliAn triAthlete | 57ABoUT DAN
Biomechanically denied his dream of becoming an NBA superstar, Dan Wilson has
been racing the ITU circuit for over seven years representing Australia at Junior,
U/23 and Elite level. His results have ranged from winning a World Cup to finishing
only with the aid of glow sticks. When not “at work” training three times a day, he
incompetently plays the guitar, competently sips short blacks, and fervently studies
the underground metal scene.
Website: http://www.danwilson.com.au Twitter: @dan_wilson_some food into me ASAP. However, when I
rolled at 10km/hour through a deserted
street at 5am in the morning, I encountered
a sterner constable, who gave me both a
stern lecture and a $120 fine. It hasn’t all
been castigation from the law though, I
once had a cop-car shout encouragement
from their megaphone while track-
standing at a red light, and received a
rousing applause once the light turned
green and I took off, pedals unclicked!
There’s also been the occasional police
escort, at times to make sure we didn’t
encounter any trouble, and at times to
make sure we didn’t cause any more
trouble. The former came before the
Yokohama WTS while attempting to
navigate the Japanese road system, where
a few piloting issues led a group of us on a
highway clearly not intended for man-
powered transport. A flash of lights, some
stern, yet incomprehensible words was
followed by a close escort back to our
hotel, where a comprehensive team
guarded us back to our rooms, not content
until we’d removed helmets and given our
word not to try to find the ‘back way’ to
the pool again. The later came before the
Hy Vee World Cup in the US, where the
local cops kindly gave us an escort down
to the race site, apologising that they
weren’t permitted by law to actually stop
the traffic, but could certainly encourage
other vehicles to give way to us. That was
certainly an understatement, as the vigour
with which they escorted us to the race
led me to believe they would have pulled a
gun on anyone with the gall to drive within
100 feet of us!
Back to my current predicament.
The officers sized me up. I must have
resembled an aerobics instructor from the
80s, with the addition of a paperclip stuck
up his nose. The first officer rather smartly
decided it was too early in the morning to
investigate nasal lunacy, and quickly
volunteered to check my license against
© Michael Dodge/Getty Imagesthe computer, cunningly leaving his mate to
inquire as to what the hell I was doing, and
if I had been on my phone while driving or
not. I fumbled through the ostensible
benefits of nasal dilation, becoming
increasingly aware that I didn’t appear to
be answering his questions at all, while he
appeared to grow more confused and
irritated by the minute. “Look mate”, he
said, “If I can check your phone, and there
are no recent messages sent, I’ll leave youand the nose piece to get on with it.” I
handed over my phone to him, and once
satisfied, he sent me on my way as quickly
as possible, no doubt to have a good laugh
back at the station. Fortunately, I was still
the first one to arrive at running training,
and I threw the nasal clip in the first bin I
saw. Marginal gains are one thing, but not if
the cost is going to jail. I’m not sure I could
survive on the inside, certainly not wearing
tights and a headband anyway...