Cosmopolitan Australia September 2017

CRITERION #347:

MUST OWN AMUSING

KITCHENWARE.

1. You’re dying
   to find someone
   exactly like:
   a. Your trainer,
   your barista, your
   accountant... Why
   set any criteria?
   b. Liam
   Hemsworth. He
   must be tall, built
   and capable of
   growing a beard.
   c. No one
   you’ve ever met
   before. Really, tho.
   2. When it
   comes to a
   mate’s style,
   you’re turned
   off by:
   a. Bare feet in
   public – but hey,
   you could see past
   it if need be.
   b. Outfits that
   don’t mesh with
   your ‘pending BF’
   Pinterest board
   (the one that’s 75
   per cent models).
   c. These days?
   Everything. Most
   prospects need an
   extreme makeover.
   3. Your date
   just ordered
   a martini.
   Thoughts?
   a. Sounds
   delish. Make it two!
   b. Eh, you
   prefer beer
   drinkers but
   can deal.
   c. You’re
   shaken (not
   stirred). Only
   James Bond can
   pull that off.
   4. How often
   are you set up by
   friends?
   a. Almost never.
   You’re always going
   googly-eyed – you
   don’t need any
   help.
   b. On occasion,
   only after they’ve
   sworn he’s at least
   a six on the funny
   scale.
   c. They try, but
   you’ll name your
   firstborn after who-
   ever suggests the
   dude who makes
   the cut after your
   Insta back-stalking.
   5. Your biggest
   frustration with
   dating apps is:
   a. When they
   set a maximum on
   swipes per day.
   b. Despite
   moving your
   distance setting to
   within 10km, you
   still get guys from
   too far away.
   c. Your inability
   to find anyone to
   swipe right on.
   Sad!

Mostly As

TOO EASILY

IMPRESSED

You’re open to

love in all its

forms. Flexibility

ups the odds of

meeting a keeper,

but you can be

choosier. Have a

think on whether

you see a future

with someone

new. If you don’t,

make it known.

That way, you

won’t waste

anyone’s time.

Mostly Bs

CAUTIOUSLY

CHOOSY

You have a type

and stick to it.

That can help

minimise drama

later on in a

relationship, but

try not to base

every decision

on your checklist.

Lose some non-

negotiables, and

give your dates a

chance to prove

they’re good

enough... or even

better!

Mostly Cs

IMPOSSIBLE

TO PLEASE

No one is worthy.

Def don’t settle

for less than you

deserve, but take

some time to

reevaluate what

that means if

you’re sick of

singlehood. Go

out on a limb

every once in a

while. You don’t

have to lower

your standards

very far to let

someone exceed

your expectations.

THE BREAKDOWN

dater?

Are you a

picky

Are your standards nonexistent or not-at-all realistic?

WORDS BY H ELEN ZOOK. PHOTOGRAPHY BY NICK ONKEN

162 COSMOPOLITAN SEPTEMBER 2017

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