MADS MIKKELSEN FALSE-TEETH SALESMAN
“I’ve had a few strange jobs. The one that stands out is the time I travelled around with false teeth.
This one dentist made them and I would take them to other dentists. I was basically a false teeth
pusher! I kept having to go into these clinics that smelled of chemicals, so I had that smell in my nose
constantly. And I was also travelling by bus and always really knackered and trying not to fall asleep.
Part of me liked the job, the other part despised it, because it gave me nightmares.”
EDGAR WRIGHT
PROJECTIONIST & SOMERFIELD EMPLOYEE“The worst job I ever had in terms of how bad
I was at it was when I was a projectionist, at
the Regal in Tenbury Wells. In my defence, I was
15 and probably shouldn’t have been doing it.
The cinema had this huge old projector, and
I was a weakling who could barely operate it.
One time the film broke at the bottom and
The Adventures Of Baron Munchausen went
sprawling all over the floor like spaghetti.
Another night I put the trailers on backwards. My
final disaster was when I tried to focus the lens
and dropped it on the floor during the trailer for
Licence To Kill. Luckily someone in the audience
was a projectionist and came to help, but I was
sacked after that. My lowest moments, though,
were probably [working] at [supermarket chain]
Somerfield. I had already started making amateur
movies, and I remember one day as I was
cleaning pink baby vomit off the floor my boss
walked past and loudly went, ‘He’s not in
Hollywood yet, is he?’”CHRISTINA HENDRICKS
TAILOR
“I worked at a tuxedo rental place in the mall.
I was a Goth back then with black hair and Doc
Martens, and when guys came in to get fitted for
a wedding or a prom I’d measure them. It was
kind of hilarious. It was like I was a character in
a movie or something. But I still had fun.”
TIM ROTH
CHEMIST & TESCO EMPLOYEE“I worked in a chemist’s. The little plastic and
glass bottles that [the pharmacists] put pills in?
I had to wash ’em. Fucking hell it was mind-
numbing. It was fucking awful. I also used to fill
the shelves in [supermarket chain] Tesco, but
I liked that. We used to fuck with the customers,
which was fun.”NOEL CLARKE
WATER-SLIDE ATTENDANT & LIFEGUARD“I was a water-slide attendant at a sports
centre. You would climb up the top of the slide
to make sure there’s nothing in there that can
hurt anyone. Then you would turn it on and
you just say: ‘Go... Go...’ I had to clean the
changing rooms as well, and I made $80
a month. It was only two days a week, though —
they didn’t turn the slide on for weekdays. Kids
were not allowed to have fun in the week.
It was actually not so bad a job, but my others
were lifeguarding, which had many perks, let me
tell you, and a gym instructor, which had even
more perks.”REBECCA HALL
BARTENDER“Everyone does a bit of bar-tending. The first
time, I was 19 or 20. The manager hadn’t really
asked me if I had any experience. It was a bar
on two floors and on my first day it was quiet so
he said, ‘Go and look after the bar downstairs.’
Within about 20 minutes it had filled up, and
never have I felt more inadequate. Everyone was
asking for cocktails and I had no idea. People
were screaming at me. It was a living hell.”“NEVER HAVE I FELT
MORE INADEQUATE.
EVERYONE WAS ASKING
ME FOR COCKTAILS
AND I HAD NO IDEA.
IT WAS A LIVING HELL.”