‘First, he was late. Then he got a pricey
bottle of champagne and didn’t share
any! He also ordered way more food than
I did and an expensive dessert. When
the bill came, he asked, “Can you bail
me out? I’ll pay you back.” I did. On the
way home, he stopped for petrol and
asked for more money! I said no, and
he made me get out of the car!’ – KATE, 31‘I went to a football game on a third date
with this guy I was into. I know nothing
about football, but I figured he would
teach me. Instead, he spent the entire
game texting another girl about how
he couldn’t wait to meet her and take
her out. We were supposed to go back
to his house afterwards, but I made up
an excuse and said I had to get home.
There was no way he was going to get
any!’ – JORDAN, 26‘He asked me to pick him up from his
parents’ house. As soon as he got in my
car, we hit it off and started chatting.
Then his mum knocked on the window.
She’d come out to give us frozen water
bottles. She knew we’d be drinking and
didn’t want us to get dehydrated.’- SAVANNAH, 24
‘At dinner, this dude only talked about
making money. Afterwards, we sat on a
bench and he held my hand and said, “You
have nice hands. I’m really into hands.
I’m into something else, too. I like feet.
Can I give you a foot massage?” We were
outside at 9pm. I said no and refused to
go on another date.’ – TIFFANY, 25 #‘This guy and I were on our third date
when he finally revealed to me that he
lives in his mum’s basement. Then, when
he took me back to his hovel, we started
making out, and he whipped out his penis
while letting out a long, stinky fart. I
asked him, “Are you serious?” and he
shrugged and replied, “Shit happens”.
I left the basement and deleted him
from my life.’ – EVIE, 35
WORST DATES
THELICENSINGPROJECT.COMT
H
SI
M
ON
TH’S
DOUCHE-O-METER
SO
OFFENSIVECHEQUE,
PLEASE!JUST
CLUELESSUM, NOEPIC FAILLITERALLY
DERANGEDNothing kills the date
vibes faster than bodily
functions, over-friendly
mothers and foot fetishes
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SAYING...the buzz