Cosmopolitan Australia — November 2017

‘I went out with a dude who lived

far from me, so he asked if he could

drop off some of his work stuff at my

place before dinner. Little did I know,

he was vegan and taking me to a vegan

restaurant. The whole night, he was so

rude to the wait staff and me. I asked

him questions about himself (he asked

me nothing), and then he said that I was

interrogating him. I was annoyed and

hungry – all he ordered was celery root

and a mushroom. I wanted to ditch, but

he had to grab his stuff from my place!

Then his train back home wasn’t for

quite a while, so I had to avoid his sexual

advances.’ – NICOLE, 24

‘I was working as a social media manager

but nannied on the side for extra cash.

Anyway, I went on a date with a guy, and

when we were talking about my job, he

goes, “Wait, so you, like, babysit?” And

I said, “Well, I nanny for extra money.”

He replied, “I told my roommate that

I thought you were stupid because you

are 25 and you babysit.” We just sat in

awkward silence the rest of the time.’

• SOPHIE, 25

‘I got to the bar where my date was

already sitting with a drink. He told me

to get myself one plus another for him,

then handed me $10... The drinks were

$20 each! He worked in real estate, and

the whole time, he kept saying I couldn’t

afford any of his listings. Then a couple

of things fell out of his pocket. He picked

up all his items and threw them on the

table. One was a condom, and he shouted,

“At least I’m prepared!” Ew.’ – BETSY, 30

‘I was on a first date with this guy I knew from high school. First,

he spilt his entire drink on me, so I sat in a puddle the whole time.

The rest of the night was a bit awkward because our waitress, who he

happened to know, kept standing and chatting with us when I really

just wanted to talk to the guy I was with. When the bill came, I

offered to pay and he wouldn’t let me, but I asked if I could pay the

tip. He agreed, and then when he saw how much I put down, he said,

“Aren’t you going to give her more? I know her.” I’d given her 20

per cent – calm down.’ – DANIELLE, 24

WORST DATES

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HT

SI

M

ON

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DOUCHE-O-METER

S O

OFFENSIVE

CHEQUE,

PLEASE!

JUST

CLUELESS

UM, NO

EPIC FAIL

LITERALLY

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