- BUSINESSSKlllSNEGOTIATING
a[~umem oversalaryordiscussingholiday
planswitha ~orpartner.And ifwe
djsplav unfairand insensjtjyeanitudes (0-
wardsorhers,thi<;canreducetheirwillingness
tobcflexibletowardsus('"Why[hebellshould
J give~roundif hcbehaveslikethis?").cl Less trustleadstofeweropportunities.
SeniorQJaoa~ersarelikel)'tOdisapproveif }'ou
haveproblemsmanaging}'ouremotions.More
imporrantly,theywillnavelessfaithin)'our
abilit)'tO manage pressure and complexir)'
("Wccan'ttrustherinthispositionbecause,
underpressure,sherendsw...").Thisreduces
)'ourpotentialcareeropponunitics.Lessttust
alsomeansa lowerdegrccofopennessandcre-
ativit)',leadingtoworsesolutionsduriJlgcum-
plcxncgotiations.
Ask)'ourself:Thinkabouttherecenrnegotia-
tions that )'OU have becn involved in. Did
negativeemotionsdamagc thc l'tocess aud
outcome?If so,wh:Hdoyouthink)'oucould
havedonediffefCmly?3.Using positiveemotions
Jfnegativeemotionscanbe a risk,posltlve
emotionspresenran opporruuiry.If wccan
produccenergyandoprimisminothers,thcy
williistcntousmorec10sclyandbemoreopen
toouridcas.Theywillalsohecomematef1ex- j
ibleandtrusting,andperhapscollaboratewirh
uspositively- notonlyintheimmediarencgotiation,
bminfLiturediscussions,roo.
Ifyouwishtoprodllcea positiveemotionalclimate
dllringa negotiatioll,youwillllccdtomanagefour.Q2.fi:.
emotionalnccdstharallindividualshave.Ler'slookat
theseneedsinmoredetail:lndatthccommunication
smltegiesweeanuserohandlerherclatedemorions:a)Theneedtofeelvalued.If peopledanothaverhe
feelingrharyouvaluerheirefforrsandconrrjbyrjoos,
rheycan quick!ybecomeclosedro yourargwllents,
growing defensive and aggressive in the faceofa
perceivedanack.Whenpeopleunderstandtharthcyare
valued,aodfcelthattheiropinionsarelistenedro,thcy
becomeopenrosuggestions.LookatthcfoUowingdi-
aloguefroma negoriationabuutIcadingaproject_No-
ticehowJanemakesAngelafeelvalued:
Jane:So,whatI needyoutodoislakeoverworkstream
threeoftheproject.
Angela:I'dJiketo,butIhavesomuchworkQ!1.
Jane:I realizethatyourworkloadis high.andI appreciate
theeffortsyou'remakingwilhsomuchwork.Andyour
greatworkisreallyhelpingustomakeprogress.Butwhat
weneedatthemomentisyourexpertiseinworkstream
threesothatweeanfinishthingsquickly.
Angela:OK,perhapsIean.
42 BusinessSpotlighl
sendeherigtrt
message:
Jourpartners
needtofeeI
,a1....Inthisdialogue,laneusesanumberofkeyphr3sesto
makeAngelafeelvalued:- First,shcshowsrhatsheislistcning:"1realin:that
)'Ollrworkloadis high." - Next,shegivcspositivefeedbad:"Iappreciarethecf-
fortsyou'remaking...·' - Then,sheacknowlcJgesAngela'scontriburionrothe
team:"AndfourgrearworklSrcall)'hdpingusto
makeprogress."
Askyourself:Howoftendoyouustrhesephrasesorsim-
ilarlanguageinyournegotiations?Canyouimagine
communicaringin[hiswaymoreonenthanyoudo
uow?(Formoreusefulphrases,seetheI:mguagesur-
vivalguideonpage45.)
b) The need to feel coonected.Pcople are ~
animaI!> who needconnections toothen;. Negative
emotionsarequickly~eneratedif wefee!separarcd,i<;o-
laredorrckcrcd.Duringa ncgoriation,itisimponam
[0builda senseoftogetherncsstofacilitateopenand
cre-ativccollabora[ion.ThiswillbringawillingncsstO
supporre:lchotherwithnecessarycompromisesturcaeh
acommougoal.
Lookatthe followingdialoguefromanegoriation
ahOlitpay,andarthcwa)'thatJalle-buildsaconnecriol1
bcrweenherselfandAngela:5/2009