taking a
Bearing
“Not a problem!” The young man
beamed at me.
Of course it wasn’t a problem.
Why would it be? I was in a coffee
shop. And from a menu, whose
range of choices would have put
an airliner’s parts list to shame,
I had passed over the option of
a Fairtrade Bolivian medium-dark
roast with Nepalese yak cream
and a dash of hand-ground
Tahitian vanilla seed syrup,
in favour of a medium Americano.
A plain black coffee, in other
words. No milk, no sugar... nothing.
He had the technology. It filled
the wall behind him, hissing and
burbling, with enough valves and
gauges to control the main engines
of an aircraft carrier. And he had
obviously done ‘The Training’,
because his next question was,
“Is there anything else I can help
you with today?”
The honest answer would
have been yes. He could have
investigated the strange clonking
noise that my car has started
making at random but increasingly
frequent intervals. Then he could
have held the dog down while
I removed the unidentifiable spiky
thing from his ear (the dog’s ear,
I mean), popped into Aldi for me
and written the column that MBY
wanted from me last week.
But I lied and said, “No, thanks,”
ignoring the almond croissants and
chocolatey biscuity things. But thenI changed my mind and asked if he
could add a splash of cold water.
This obviously was “a problem”
as it involved a huddled discussion
with a supervisor before I was
presented with a jug containing
about a tablespoon of water, which
vaporised as soon as it hit my coffee
and had about as much effect
as raindrops falling into a volcano.
What brought this to mind was
a line in last month’s MBY review
of the Seaward 39: “In this boat,
you can travel 100 miles for dinner
in another country and get back
in time for bed, even if the weather
deteriorates.”
Now, the Seaward is my kind of
boat. It’s not fast, or flashy, but it’s
sturdy, reliable, ruggedly handsome,
brilliantly put together and a nice
size. For someone who shares my
taste in boats and who has three
quarters of a million to play with,
it will be worth every penny of its
price tag. Seawards usually are.
But is seaworthiness really
something yachting journos should
find ourselves writing home about?
Isn’t it something we should be able
to take for granted – the basic “not
a problem” plain black Americano- of any cruising boat?
After all, if a 40ft boat costing
that much is not capable of covering
100 miles in any reasonable
conditions, without making
a song and dance about it, surely
it’s a houseboat, not a cruiser?
Wave MiniBOSS
Slick way to remove bilge
As the regulations on pollution
become ever more stringent, the days
of quietly pumping out your oily bilge
water and whistling innocently while
hoping that the telltale slick around
your boat dissipates quickly are over.
On a small boat, you can mostly
mop the bilge out yourself, if
necessary. On a larger vessel, it’s
a different story. At about 0.75 of
a metre across by 1m deep, the
MiniBOSS is an oil separator that
is installed between your bilge pump
and outlet and separates any oil from
the bilge water before it is pumped
over the side. The oil is collected
in Wavestream WS-C3 cartridges.
It meets marine pollution
(MARPOL) requirements and hasbeen fully tested at 15ppm and
5ppm levels, gaining certification
from the US Coastguard to meet the
International Maritime Organisation
(IMO) Resolution. From £8,333.
Contact http://www.waveinternational.co.ukPhoto
: enrico Mantegazza / alamy
Mel Bartlett: a splash of cold water
OTTO riva Ferrari
sound dock
An audio system to make a song and dance about
We featured Riva’s new Boutique
Collection of branded merchandise
recently, but this newly released
sound dock merits a fresh look.
Made by Modena-based IXOOST,
creators of bespoke audio systems,
it is crafted from the actual exhaust
manifold of a Formula 1 Ferrari
racecar. To this has been added
signature Riva styling details,including the highly polished chrome
and genuine Riva wood panelling.
Compact speakers are mounted
inside the pipes, although we’d
question whether they can ever match
the sonic power of the original engine.
As well as selecting your preferred
choice of dock to match your
smartphone or tablet, you can
also link to the unit via Bluetooth.
Priced at £30,000 plus VAT, it’s
not going to be everyone’s first
choice of sound system but it is
very individual and the only one
to be licensed by Riva. This dock
is on display at Ventura, the
Mayfair-based UK Riva dealer.
Contact http://www.venturaeurope.comYou won’t see this
chrome beauty
down at your
local hi-fi store90neWTeCh BOAT MASTeR