Life after Divorce 197
and social circles in order to ease their sense of isolation. These
are the women who pursue hobbies, take classes, join religious,
political, environmental, or other organizations or clubs (some-
thing which women have often been more accustomed to doing
all throughout their lives), and who thus manage to structure a
level of self-satisfaction in their post-divorce existence.
The Single Parent
Even a family tree has to have some sap.
—Los Angeles Times Syndicate
The economics of single parenting are brutal. I have seen many of
my single custodial parents literally hit the wall as their income
begins to hopelessly lag behind their expenses and their rapidly
increasing responsibilities.
Problems for single parents. Single parents are inevitably stretched
pretty thin financially following their divorce. This leaves them
with less money available to cover any sudden emergencies that
may occur. They often don’t have the same extended familial,
monetary, or logistical support system to help deal with a sud-
den sickness or crisis. They simply don’t have the same resources
available to help solve the inevitable problems that arise.
Single-parent families are particularly vulnerable, since they
continually seem to experience more emergencies than do intact
families. Arrangements for the children’s care, feeding, transpor-
tation, etc., tend to break down as children enter new develop-
mental stages and as the adults themselves enter new relation-
ships. Single parents also have a harder time making even their
subsequent relationships work. Not surprisingly (especially
given the difficulties inherent in stepparenting), second mar-
riages that include children from a first marriage are themselves
far more prone to divorce. As we saw earlier, adolescence is a
particularly difficult period, and second marriages that include
the responsibility for stepparenting an adolescent child can be
hugely difficult.
Uncommon closeness. Predictably, a single parent’s relationship
with their child is likely to be far more intensely interdependent,