22 DIVorCe wItH DeCenCY
Understanding the Basic Biological
Differences between Men and Women
Love at first sight... saves a lot of time.
—Anonymous
One area that warrants some serious attention is an analysis of
the basic core biological differences between men and women,
especially as they impact each gender ’s thought processes and
communication styles and their way of relating to one another.
Obviously, if my readers can better understand these issues (and
their opposite sex in general), it may give them a better shot at
solving some of the many problems that inevitably arise in mar-
riages and other relationships.
As I mentioned earlier, I have found an excellent resource
book that is particularly illuminating on this cross-gender/inter-
spousal communication issue. This amazingly insightful (and
cleverly titled) book is called “Why Men Don’t Listen and Women
Can’t Read Maps” by Drs. Barbara and Allan Pease. The Peases’
book is more “science based” and focuses upon the neurology of
the human brain and on evolutionary biology. Another scholar
who has focused extensively on this subject is Doreen Kimura
who has written expansively on the crucial differences between
the male and female brains. I particularly commend her excellent
treatise “How Different Are the Male and Female Brains?”
In the next few pages, I will attempt to summarize in an admit-
tedly oversimplified and “generalized” fashion some of the find-
ings regarding the key biological differences between the genders
made by the Peases, Dr. Kimura, and other experts in the field.
(Author’s Note: Since I am a lawyer and certainly no scientist, my
attempt to outline these findings will be rudimentary and impre-
cise at best and undoubtedly doesn’t do justice to this complex sub-
ject. Thus, readers with an interest in this area are strongly advised
to read the Peases’ books especially, in their entirety. The Peases’
research is simply fascinating and their books are fun and phenom-
enally insightful to read. Others may come to entirely different—
and perhaps even contradictory—conclusions from the Peases’
research and books than I did. So if this subject is anywhere near
as fascinating to you as it is to me, then don’t rely on my admittedly