The Dynamics of Divorce 63
Younger Women
Wife: a former sweetheart.
—H. L. Mencken
The degree to which the divorce experience turns out to be a posi-
tive versus a negative one for a woman hinges largely upon her
age at the time it occurs. I have noticed that among my clients,
it is often the younger women (who divorce while still in their
twenties or early thirties) who seem to be able to bounce back
the most readily. In fact, these women often seem to experience a
substantial amount of personal growth through the divorce pro-
cess—not to mention a significant level of social and financial
enhancement.
Young women on their way up. In many cases these younger women
were the ones who initiated the divorce in the first place. Perhaps
they matured faster than the guy they married who was with
them in high school and have gone beyond his stage of develop-
ment. Whereas their young husband may not yet have found sat-
isfactory or lucrative employment, or may not be mature enough
to handle the demands of fatherhood, these young women are
still attractive, energetic, and upwardly mobile. They are capable
of making substantial changes in their lives, including shifting to
new careers, furthering their education, and ascending to lofty
social circles. They are also more capable of making intelligent
decisions for their second marriages than they generally were
for their first (which may have come impulsively as the result of
an elopement with a high school sweetheart or in response to an
unplanned pregnancy).
These women often feel far less depressed about leaving the
marriage than they did being in it. They may feel relieved to get
out of their youthfully indiscreet first marriage, especially since
they can feel confident that many of the best years of their lives
still lie ahead of them. They are still young and attractive and are
often successful at meeting eligible men to date or remarry. They
may be particularly attractive to older, well-established men look-
ing for a youthful second wife.
Frankly, it would be difficult to overstate the importance of
each gender’s most basic (base?) instincts when analyzing what