gram, they wonder, “What did I do? Did I do something wrong?”
And in a couple of instances, a parent inquired as to why her child
was selected to be a part of the “mentoring program.” We avoid
attaching a stigma to the children; TALKS is not a “remedial” pro-
gram. In actuality, many parents have called us and asked if their child
could have a mentor.)
Once the students understand that they will be meeting to “con-
duct the business of wisdom” with the adult mentor, we talk through
the contract. We basically preach and teach each clause. For example:
“To participate with good intentions means you will not come with an
attitude. Mr. Johnson is busy. He takes off work to come over here to
be with you. Do you promise you will have a good attitude?” After
they agree, each student initials the clause and we move on.
One of my favorite statements in the contract is: “I will gen-
uinely and respectfully consider what my mentor shares with me,
but will also feel free to express my opinions.” I take this opportu-
nity to teach the children how to disagree politely with adults. We
help each child memorize this sentence: “Mr. Smith, I would like to
respectfully disagree with you.” I encourage them to practice using
this sentence on their mentor, teachers, principal, mom, and other
adults. After everyone signs the contracts, the mentors keep them
and refer back to them from time to time to remind the kids of their
commitment.
During the course of mentoring, I give our mentors permission
to send any child back to the classroom if the child is not keeping his
or her end of the contract. If there are any recurring problems with
the child’s behavior, a TALKS representative will visit the mentoring
cell and refer back to the original contract. We ask the unwilling stu-
dents if they want to keep the contract or stop meeting with the men-
tor. Most of the time they do want to continue and will change their
behavior, but there may be instances when they will quit or we will
move them to a different mentoring cell.
Remember, this is minimum-level mentoring. Everyone under-
stands that the purpose of getting together is to discuss wisdom. I tell
the children up front that this is not about fun; this is about business.
The TALKS Mentoring Curriculum and Approach 167