thatagain.”She’slike,“Youlovethatbike.”And I’m like, “Pink Power Rangers is a girl’s bike.
Notgoingtohappen.”That’sthepolicingthat goes on from the first few years of life, where
wetellboystomanup,don’tcry,don’tbea pussy, don’t be gay. I also went to a private boys’
schoolinSydneywhereI sawthingsgoreallywell at times and loved it. But I also felt like
therewasa lotofsocialpolicingaroundourculture and reflecting on it now, I didn’t know
howtodealwithit.AndI dothinka lotofguys wanted a different narrative but there just
wasn’toneatthetime.I wasprettyluckytohave family values to guide me. I tried to rebel
againstthoseforaslongaspossibleuntiliteventually caught up with me. [Laughs]. There
wasa momentformewhenI was 14 andonMSN Messenger where I read a comment from
a friendthatsaid,“NoonelikesHunteranyway.” I was absolutely gutted. But actually I
thoughttomyself,Wellifnoonelikesme,andif I don’t even like how I’m being, I may as well
startbeingmyself.Yeah.AndI hada goodfoundation.Mum’sbeen a working woman all my life. Dad’s a
psychologist.Andmystep-parentsarefantastic supporters. “Be who you are” was always
thereforus.ItjustreallylandedI guesswhenI was 14 and has taken me a number of years to
musterupthecouragetoliveinto.Yeah.I thinkmypersonality is very people-driven. Connection and
peopleisprobablythe thing that inspires me most. Meaningful
relationships.Soitwas gradually getting the courage to give myself
permissiontofollow that path. I moved from Sydney to Melbourne
aboutsixyearsagoand a big part of that has been curating and
creatinga newcommunity.Andpartofthathas been loneliness. I think when I’ve been
lonelyinmylife,andtherearemanytimesI’ve been lonely, it gives me an access into myself
thatI don’tseewhenI’mjustinflowanddoing things. When I’m lonely I find it actually
allowsmealsotodeepenmylevelsofself-awareness, re-evaluate my current situation and
alsoempathisewithpeoplewhoaregoingthrough stuff themselves. And mentors have just
beenunbelievableforme.Creatinga personal advisory board for my life.Usuallyit’speoplewhointimidateme,that’s the criteria.Yeah,but“Ijustreallyrespectyou.” Like I had a meeting with a guy today who
I aminunbelievableaweof.AndI was nervous and fumbling and I just said to
himattheendofourmeeting,“Hey,everything aside, I actually just have such respect for
youpersonallyandprofessionally.”I’ve got one that’s incredibly present right now.
A few of my close mates are getting married
and I’ve been asked to be best man. At their
bucks parties the plan is to have strippers.
I had to have a conversation with some of the
guys organising the bucks to say that if there
were strippers I couldn’t attend. What came up
in those conversations was like, “Oh mate no
one’sgoingtofilmit,don’tworry,”andI’mlike, “That’s not it.” And everything in my identity
waslike,“AmI doingtherightthing?AmI just being a dickhead? Am I being elitist?” And I
eventuallysaid,“No,ifI takeallthataway,this is me just true to who I am.” The teachable
momentformehereisthatI wanttogivemymates a meaningful experience of what aBrilliant!
Soself-awarenessandawarenessof
thedissonanceintheculture,andwhat
wasbeingaskedofmeninparticular,
iswhat’s helped you step into this work?And the experience of being vulnerable and stepping into
authentic self, what else does that look like for you? Where
have been the moments where you’ve been challenged to
show up? It’s not easy for us to do it all the time, and I think
there’s a degree of bravery in actually saying, “I don’t want
to do this but I know it’s better for me and it’s better for the
people around me that I do.” Does anything come to mind?What is that process?
“This feels uncomfortable...”
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HUNTER JOHNSON
DUMBO FEATHER