demographic shifts, and changes in economies and the labor market are some of the key
drivers of family change.”^148 We need to mention once again that these changes
have produced, not a decline in filial devotion, but rather a need to adapt to an ever-
changing world. For instance, a continually declining birthrate means that“Japan
will have to become a pioneer in figuring out how to run a society top heavy with
older people.”^149Social Skills
Throughout this chapter we have talked about the idea that it is family that is the
first institution to socialize the child. Through family interactions, children begin to
learn about what are acceptable and unacceptable forms of communicative behav-
ior. When we speak of learning forms of communicative behavior we are talking
about much more than language acquisition and the rules of grammar. What we
are referring to is how and what families teach their children about effective com-
munication skills. In many ways, parents serve as models for these skills. Burke,
Woszidlo, and Segrin develop this indispensable role in the following observation:
“Parents serve as models within the family environment, influencing the develop-
ment of their children’s social skills. That is, children learn how to interact with
others by observing and imitating the ways in which their parents interact with
others.”^150 Adler and Proctor underscore the magnitude of those interactions when
they write,“Communication in the family of origin can have lifelong effects.”^151
The National Association of School Psychologists echoes the importance of these
social skills:
Good social skills are critical to successful functioning in life. These skills enable us to
know what to say, how to make good choices, and how to behave in diverse situations.
The extent to which children and adolescents possess good social skills can influence
their academic performance, behavior, social and family relationships, and involvement
in extracurricular activities.^152
As we have been suggesting, it is a major family responsibly to teach the numerous
“cultural skills”a person will need to function effectively. A sampling of some of the
basic communication skills each child must learn are listed below:- Whenand how to disclose personal information to others.
- How to show respect to other people.
- How to start, maintain, and end a conversation.
- Taking turns when interacting. When to listen and when to speak.
- When not to interrupt.
- The use of silence.
- The correct volume for each setting.
- Knowing appropriate and inappropriate topics of conversation.
- How to use humor.
- Correct use of nonverbal communication. Who can be touched? Where can they
be touched? - Appropriate use of laughter.
- Being responsible for their actions.
- How to respond to criticism.
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