2019-10-01 Cosmopolitan

(Darren Dugan) #1
STAR
T

It’s the night you’ve been looking forward to
since legit July 1. You’re dressed as a Royal
Wedding Meghan Markle (doesn’t matter
that it happened last year, you’re royalty),
but as soon as you walk into the room, you
see your best friend’s friend (who you hate)
wearing the same thing. You...


B.
Break the ice
with, “Hey,
which one
of us gets
Harry?!”
J U MP TO 2

B.
Find the bathroom,
wait in line, then
scan his ’gram for
evidence of these
developments
while on the toilet.
J U MP TO 6

B.
Sort of laughing,
then giving him the
“Oh, I think I see my
friend over there.
Gotta go!” line.
Works every time.
J U MP TO 4

C.
Literally
leave. It’s
over.
Canceled.
T H E E N D

A.
Stay as far
away from her
as possible. Like,
practically on
the front lawn.
J U MP TO 1

A.
Tell her that he
was texting you
as recently as
three weeks ago.
Take that, fake(r)
Meghan!
J U MP TO 7

A.
Asking if he wants to
take a shot. Nothing
cures an uncomfy
situation like swinging
your tongue around
some alcoholic Jell-O.
J U MP TO 3

At the drinks table, you
see a guy you went on
two awful dates with.
He makes a joke about
being your real prince
(because you’re dressed
as Meghan and he’s
dressed as Prince—like,
Purple Rain Prince). You
dodge him by...

In a major plot twist,
she responds to your
olive-branch-esque
joke by telling you her
IRL Harry is actually
your ex. They started
hooking up six weeks
ago. What the fuck do
you do?

Omg, now he’s
texting from
across the party
because he thinks
the shots undid
the awk. You...

You
vs.
a truly

awful Halloween


par t y: Can


you survive?


The Jell-O shots aren’t even
the scariest part.
By EMMA BATY

2

3

1

Q
Q:

H

ow

ma

ny

Je
ll-O

sho

tsis

toom
any?Ten?

24 Cosmopolitan October 2019


ME

AN

G
IRL

S:^

PA
RA

MO

UN

T^ P

ICT

UR

ES/

CO

UR

TES

Y^ E

VE
RET

T^ C

OL
LEC

TIO

N.^

AL
L^ O

TH

ERS

:^ G

ETT

Y^ I
MA

GE

S.
Free download pdf