Happiful – September 2019

(Wang) #1

34 • happiful • September 2019


Ask the experts


SELF-DOUBT


CONFIDENCE


Ben Bidwell, life coach, personal trainer, speaker, NLP practitioner,
and co-host of ‘The Naked Professors’ podcast, answers your
questions on self-esteem

I was bullied throughout my
childhood. I’ve moved on,
but whenever I’m stressed or
under pressure at work, I fall back into
those feelings of doubt, self-hate, and
worthlessness. How can I get past this?

Q


A


The role of our mind is to keep us safe.
When those feelings of doubt, self-hate and
worthlessness come up, understand that our mind is
simply trying to keep us safe. Your freedom will come
when you acknowledge what your mind is trying to
do, but explain to it that you are safe, and are not
under threat. Your goal is to counteract the negative
self-talk with words of resilience, strength, and of
how much you’ve grown since this experience.

Discover more about
Ben and coaching at
lifecoach-directory.org.uk

I’m worried about
a friend. More and
more often she
is avoiding coming out
with us or not joining in
conversations. I know she
thinks she’s not interesting,
but I’m worried she is going
to push everyone away.
What can I do to help?

Q


A


Find a way to get time with her,
give her space to talk to you, and
ask open questions that invite her to
explain more about how she is feeling.
Be compassionate and empathetic
with her, let her know you understand,
that you are there for her, and that you
are not judging her.

Be patient, kind, and curious;you are
interested and she is interesting. From
there, see if you can get to the bottom
of her challenges, and reassure her
that you understand. Build her trust
and help to rebuild her confidence.
Look to do small things with her where
she feels comfortable, and slowly build
on that.

“Build her trust and
help to rebuild her
confidence”
Free download pdf