Happiful – September 2019

5Rhythms, which uses

dance as a moving

form of meditation and

spiritual practice.

It took me out of myself

and helped me to grow,

to recover my spirit. I

kept changing, I kept

looking for more ways

to help me grow and

rebuild both my spirit

and me.

I became an

apprentice shaman for

a year, I became a reiki

practitioner, I started

drumming, dancing and

singing in public for the

first time at festivals, and

I kept meeting more and

more people, and making

more friends.

That was vital to my

rebirth, for although I

have been a loner all my

life, I am a person who

needs people, and that

connection with people

was a very important

part of the changes I

made to get well.

Most of my life I had

been held back from

exercising my creative

talents by crippling self-

doubt, so tackling that

was the next step.

I’d sung all my life but

self-doubt and self-

consciousness meant I

never let anyone hear

me. I was hanging out

with people who sang

and I wanted to join in

but couldn’t.

Gradually, I came to see

that facing these fears

was the next step in the

process of change. So

I spent a year learning

to play the guitar – and

rehearsing three songs

• and eventually made
  my debut at an open mic
  event in Southend. I was
  shaking so much I could
  hardly finger the chords
  on my guitar, but I knew I
  had to do it.
  And I stuck with it, to
  the point where I formed
  a rock band called
  WorkInProgress. I was
  not only getting my life
  back – I was creating a
  new and better one.

Also around this time,

encouraged by some of

the new friends I’d made,

I decided to put into

action a dream I’d had

since school days and

return to university to do

a degree in Fine Art.

To do that I had to face

some more self-doubt

• although it was easier
  this time – and do an
  ‘access to art and design’
  course. It was during this
  particular course that
  the feedback I had from
  both tutors and my fellow
  students convinced me

that I had real talent as a

painter.

I completed the first

year of the Fine Art

degree, but dropped

out, as it wasn’t giving

me what I was looking

for. And by this time

I was already having

exhibitions and winning

prizes for my art.

Brian’s solo retrospective

show ‘The Journey So Far –

It’s All About Me’ is at the

Royal Opera Arcade Gallery,

London, from 7 to 12 October.

For more information, visit

brianparkerartist.co.uk

88 • happiful.com • September 2019