W
hen my stepsons went to university, their mum
(who’s loaded) said she’d fund one son and we
could fund the other – the demanding one! We
bailed out the lazy son when he couldn’t be bothered to
work, losing deposits every time he changed digs. We
spent all our savings on him and had to downsize to a
bungalow. In his final year, he dropped out and got a job.
He came to visit last weekend and criticised our ‘old’ car
and little bungalow. We were so angry. I asked if he could
pay us back some of the thousands we’ve lent him. He
said not yet, though he’s spent hundreds on designer
shoes. We’re struggling, and I’m at my wits’ end.
Michelle, EssexOh dear. A step-parent’s role is almost never an easy one. You
have more than done your bit. You coughed up when you said
you would. You delivered on your promise, and that’s a great
deal more than can be said of your selfish stepson. Don’t forget,
though, that you have the benefit of experience and he’s a young
man who may feel he’s entitled to be financially compensated for
the trauma of his parents’ divorce. Make it clear you expect to
be reimbursed. Don’t be unkind but, for the foreseeable future,
make sure your wallet stays clamped shut.P
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SQUANDERING STEPSON
BABY BLUES?
M
y daughter’s baby girl, Bella, is now seven months
old. She’s a joy who puts a smile on everyone’s face- everyone except her mum’s. My daughter says she
loves Bella, but just can’t face life right now. She walks
about in a daze, never wants to hold her and cries at the
drop of a hat. The other day, I forced her to have a bath
as her husband bathed Bella in the baby bath. The irony
made me cry. This should be the most incredible time of
her life and it feels like she’s drowning. How do I help her?
Our local GP has been a disgrace...
Dorothy, Leicester
Your daughter’s sadness and inability to bond with Bella certainly
sounds very much like postnatal depression. You are quite right
to be disgusted with your GP for failing to investigate properly.
Ring the surgery, expressing your acute concern, and make an
emergency appointment. She needs the right medical care and
appropriate treatment. You can’t continue to try to cope with
this at home. Your instincts are correct. If your doctor won’t take
notice, I’m afraid you have no alternative but to transfer practices- until you find a sympathetic GP who will.
V
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