I Feel
Like an
Unexpected
Ta x Re t u r n
(And other
realistic idioms)
BY Cassie Barradas
illustration by brother merle- “I feel like an unexpected
tax return.”
FORMERLY: “I feel like a million bucks.”
A million dollars is something most of
us will never see or experience in any
other sensorial way. How, then, can we
know what it feels like to be it? An unex-
pected tax return, however—that’s a
feeling we hope for every year!
EXAMPLE: Whenever I wear my favourite
jeans, I feel like an unexpected tax return. - “Satisfied by moderate
exposure to the outdoors.”
FORMERLY: “A happy camper.”
Let’s be real. No one is truly happy
when camping. But everyone enjoys
getting fresh air now and again.
EXAMPLE: When Gabi received that val-
idating head-butt from her sister’s cat,
she sure was satisfied by moderate
exposure to the outdoors.
78 september 2019
HUMOUR