Ph
ot
og
ra
ph
y^ G
et
ty
Im
ag
es
the human experience is often defined not
by how hard someone persevered and toiled
but by their personal luck or providence.
I remember other things, too.
I remember the welfare payments
starting, the generous policy of the New
Zealand government, and our joy at being
able to fill our kitchen cupboards again.
I remember the neighbours who came to
help and lighten my mother’s overwhelming
workload. I remember the pastor of the
local church discussing with my mother
how to renegotiate her mortgage, write
a good résumé and find peace with the
actions of my father.
I remember school holidays spent with
grandparents, aunts and family friends while
my mother worked two jobs to keep her
family fed and safe. I remember the repo man
sitting with my brothers and me before taking
the television so that we could watch CHiPs
in full colour one final time. I remembermy mother’s panic when my brother was
hit by a car and, I now acknowledge as an
adult, the incredible gift of public healthcare
that ensured my impoverished mother did
not have to pay a single dollar towards his
hospitalisation and recuperation.
Needing help is not a weakness; it is
an inevitable by-product of a fickle human
existence and offering and receiving help is
the cornerstone of both personal wellbeing
and a well-functioning society.
However, in our reverence for self-
reliance, it seems we have come to ignore the
courage and resilience of those who speak up
when they are vulnerable. We have learnt to
belittle those who have the humility to ask for
help and, vitally, we have begun to overlook
the incredible benefits of seeking assistance,
support and cooperation:
At work: Studies show that seeking the help
of a mentor can enhance your career. In fact,
one meta-analysis published in the Journalof Applied Psychology found that mentored
individuals are not only more likely to feel
more confident and enthusiastic about their
career, they also tend to earn more than their
non-mentored peers and benefit more often
from opportunities for advancement.
At school: Students who ask for help perform
better academically than their non-willing
peers and eventually become better problem
solvers and more autonomous learners.
Studies show that asking for help is a vital
component of self-regulated learning —
students who perform well are often those
who have the awareness to notice a lack
of progress and the willingness to seek
clarification and support.Help must be seen for what
it is: a natural birthright and
your greatest responsibility
to one another.wellbeing.com.au | 95