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Lettersshouldbeabout 100 words.WritetousatPOBox653284,Benmore2010,emailus
atletters@drum.co.zaorSMSshortlettersto36489.StartwiththewordDRUMLETTERS.
EachSMScostsR1.
SURVIVINGABUSE
I canimaginetheagonytheyoung
womanwasgoingthroughwhenshe
sharedherpainofbeingraped(The
powerofwords, 18 July).
I amalsoa survivorofchildhood
sexualabuse.I wasrapedbymystep
fatherseveraltimesa weekfromtheage
ofsevenuntil11.Theemotionaldamage
ofrapeis irreparable.
Ifsomeoneisrapedasa youth,that
personistaughtthatthey’rea sexual
objectandtheyoftenfindthemselves
beingabusedagainandagain.
Ifa personisrapedasanadultthey
mayfindthatif theytrytoseekrecourse
they’llgetnone.
JUSTASKSISDOLLY
I
F THERE’S one woman who
knowshowtotalkaboutmatters
oftheheart,it’sourdearSisDolly.
Sheinspires,she’sfirm,shegives
hope, she offers advice and
somuchmoreineveryissueof
DRUM.
Andnowshe’stakenita step
furtherbyspeakingatourincrea
singlypopularDRUMLiveevents.
SisDollywasatourmostrecent
one,whichwasheldinPretoria(see
moreonpage76).
Andtherewerea fewheatedmo
mentsasrelationshipissuestook
centrestageandattendeescouldask
hera fewquestions.
Shewill,ofcourse,beatthenext
eventtoosoif you’reintheEastern
Capeyoudon’twanttomissit!
SisDollywillbetherealongwith
otherexpertsintheareasoffinance,
foodandwine,amongotherthings.
Seeyouthere!
Untilnextweek,
THEDRUMTEAM
Itseemstheonlywaytodealwitha
rapististosuethemandthentheycan
berevealedasa rapisttotheworld.
JUBASEASEMAHLE,JOHANNESBURG
BEAGOODSTEPFATHER
It takesa manwitha goodhearttoraise
a stepchildwiththesamelovehe’dgive
hisbiologicalchild.Yetit’sshockingthat
somemenstarttodevelopsexualdesires
towardstheirstepdaughters.
Whenthegirlsreportabusetothe
mothers,it’ssometimestakenlightly
becausethestepfatheris a breadwinner.
Tobea goodstepfatheryouneedto
seeyourstepchildasyourbiological
childandtreatthemassuch.Agood
manwillnevermakesexualadvances
towardsa child.A manofintegrityis the
onewhoteachesrespectbyrespecting
everyone,includingchildren.
Bea goodfather.
JAMESMKUBU,EMAIL
LOBOLAISN’TOWNERSHIP
I wasatthepolicestationtocertifysome
documentswhenI overhearda woman
layingdomesticviolencecharges.
Shesaid,“Myboyfriendisbeatingme
upbuthehasn’tpaidlobolaforme.”
Sheseemedtothinkitwouldhave
beenfineforhertobesubjectedtoabuse
iflobolahadbeenpaid.
Doesshethinkshe’sanitemthatcan
beboughtandusedorabused?What
happenedtoselfworth?
Thekindofmentalitythatmakes
womenthinkit’sokaytobedisrespected
andtreatedliketrashbytheirhusbands
needstoberootedout.
Nomanhasa righttobeata woman,
regardlessofhowmuchlobolahasbeen
paid.
NELSONKHUMALO,TEMBISA
RIP,MARKBATCHELOR
CrimeisoutofcontrolinSouthAfrica.
Itdoesn’tseeraceorclass,andit even
claimsthelivesofourbelovedcelebrities.
Wemustputourhousesinorder.
TherecentmurderofMarkBatchelor
is a blowtothenationandsoccerfansin
particular.
I willalwaysrememberthegreatgoals
hescored.Thegamethatstandsoutis
theonewhenheandMarksMaponyane,
playingforOrlandoPirates,destroyed
KaizerChiefsatFNBStadium.
Hewasa greatplayerindeed,andwe
willmisshim.
CARLTONDLAMINI,POLOKWANE
CHOICES,CHOICES
Lifeisaninfiniteseriesofchoices.Most
decisionsaresmall,butit’sthebigdeci
sions– theonesthatcanchangeyourlife
forever– thataretoughtomake.
Somanypeoplecanbeaffectedbyone
individual’schoice.
Eachpersonhastherighttomake
decisionsabouthowtheylivetheirlife.
Eachpersonhasdifferentideasabout
whatis importantandwhatmakesthem
feelbest.
Makingyourownchoicesaboutthe
thingsyoudoisimportantbecauseit
givesyourlifemeaning.
ZWANETIEHO,PRETORIA
EMBRACEHAPPINESS
Happinesshasbecomeelusivethese
days.Thisisbecauseweexpectother
peopletomakeushappyandtheyoften
disappointus.
Wemustlearntobethemastersofour
ownhappiness.
There’sverylittlewecandotochange
thepeoplearoundusandourobsession
withotherpeople’sattitudestowardsus
I
WAStoldlong-distancerelationships
neverwork,buteverydaythere’sjustone
namethatcomesintomymind–thatofmy
partner,whoseworkkeepshimfaraway
fromme.
We’refarapartbutwestilllaughatthesame
jokes,tageachotherinpostsandshareoursad
andhappymoments.
I hateitwhenmyphonebeepsandit’snothim.
I havelearntthatit’snotthedistancethattears
peopleapart,it’sthechoices
theymakethatkilltherela-
tionship.
Ifanything,thedistancehasmadeourlove
strongerandmoremeaningful.Along-distance
relationshipmakesyourealisethetrueworth
ofyourbond.
I knowourlovewillagelikefineredwine.
Lovetravelsasfarasyouletit.
DINEOMAKALA,RIAMARPARK
LONG-DISTANCELOVE
Wewouldlovetohearyourthoughts
onmattersclosetoyourheartor
[email protected]
whatyouthinkofthearticlesinthisissue.
LETTER
OF THE
WEEK
4 | 8 AUGUST 2019 http://www.drum.co.za
ED'S NOTE