Storizen – July 2019

STORIZENCONTRIBUTE

JULY 2019 STORIZEN MAGAZINE | 47

“Thank you for coming over so

quickly. I’m sorry if I intruded upon

anything,” she mumbled. I just

shrugged and walked in and

settled myself on her couch. With

a sigh she closed the door and

came sat beside me. “Is

everything alright?” I asked. It was

probably a foolish question cause

it was evident everything was not

okay else Y would not call me in

the middle of the night.

She said nothing but just brushed

her hair with her fingers and

looked around. Having finally

found what she was looking for,

she reached for the cigarette box

and took one out, lighting it with

trembling fingers. I patiently

waited while she went about this

task; with Y it was all about

waiting. You could never force an

answer out of her, she would talk

when she needed to and that was

it.

Finally after 10 minutes she said,

“I’ve been thinking of moving to

California.” “Why?” I asked. “It’s

because I need a fresh start.

Things are too overwhelming over

here. There is only so much I can

take,” she replied. “Is it getting

bad

again?” I enquired. “It was never

good to begin with; you know the

thing about sorrow X? After awhile

it becomes addictive, you do not

want to let go of it. Happiness may

come to you on glorious wings but

it comes with a sense of

unfamiliarity. You don’t know

what’s in store for you. Sorrow on

the other hand is comfortable; you

expect the bullshit that comes

along with it. There is nothing

hidden. It is all very clear and

defined,” she said.

“Those are heavy thoughts to

have...” I said. “Heavy? Yeah,

maybe....but this is the way things

work for me. Life is all about irony

isn’t it? You try your best to pick

up the pieces and move on but it

kicks you back to the curb. I read

somewhere that people must

always strive to be the best

versions of themselves and that

got me thinking....that statement is

complete shit. What is a person’s

best version? Sometimes what is

your best maybe mediocrity for the

world? Sometimes, life does not

demand your best version. It

demands your worst. There has to

be some person in constant hell