STORIZENCONTRIBUTE
JULY 2019 STORIZEN MAGAZINE | 49
now but I just wanted you to know
that I love you.” There, I had said
the forbidden words. I let them
hang in the air and I could feel the
authority of fate rushing in on me.
Y looked at me and smiled. She
didn’t say anything but just turned
her head away and looked out the
window again. I felt disgusted with
myself, not because I had just
confessed me feelings for her but
because the look in her eyes was
one of pity. She didn’t need to
know that I loved her. She already
knew that, and she pitied me for it.
I wanted to walk away and go
back to my place and crawl
underneath a sheet but I couldn’t.
I stood there looking at her.Here was a person who was in so
much pain that she had effectively
blocked off any chance she had
for happiness. She no longer
appreciated love, she pitied it.
Unwillingly she drained her friends
and people around them. She
needed to be happy but it came at
the cost of sucking the life out of
others. Many people had walked
away but here I was letting her
use me knowing that all there
would exist between us was pity.I went to the kitchen and put a pot
of coffee on boil. When it was
done, it took a cup to her and said,
“Here, drink this, you’ll feel better.
I should be going now. It’s getting
late...” “Stay, please” she begged.
There was a hint of manic
desperation in her eyes which I
could not ignore. “Fine,” I said and
just went back to the couch
watching her sip her coffee. Once
she was done, she put her cup
away and came to me. She
crawled onto the couch and rested
her head on my knees. My breath
started to come in ragged gasps
and I brushed her hair. We didn’t
talk. There was nothing to say. It
was a moment which made to
appreciate silence. We both
understood it and did not want to
risk losing it. Soon, she fell asleep.
I found a blanket and tucked her
in.Dawn came and I decided to go
home. I went home, took a hot
shower and crawled into my bed
finally succumbing into the loving
arms of sleep. Y didn’t call me that
day nor the next. I didn’t panic
because this behaviour wasn’t
unusual. On the third day, I was