Reader’s Digest UK – July 2019

her to the pub in her wheelchair and

we would try to get free drinks at the

bar, which I would then help her drink

through a straw. Over time I could

understand what she was saying and

she didn’t need to repeat herself

constantly. I would change her

catheter bag while we talked about

who was on Top of the Pops. Then,

after four months, just before I said

my farewells and went to start medical

school, Amanda caught pneumonia

and died.

While many of my friends were

exploring other countries,

attempting to discover themselves,

I felt enriched and humbled by the

short time I had spent with Amanda.

I often think about Amanda when

I hear about youngsters going on gap

years to exotic climes or travelling to

far flung countries to “help” people.

Few teenagers have the skills that are

really needed in these countries, and

yet there are countless ways in which

they can have adventure and make

lasting contributions to people’s lives

here. It’s far easier to take from people

who have nothing, than it is to give

them anything meaningful. Are people

on gap years not just holidaying in

other people’s misery, safe in the

knowledge that they themselves will

never experience the horrors that they

witness? Certainly people can gain a

lot from gap years abroad, and I know

that they’re often done with the best

intentions. But it’s good to remember

that you don’t have to go halfway

round the world to discover yourself:

the greatest learning experience of

your life can be just a few doors down

the road. n

JULY 2019 • 53

ILLUSTRATION BY FRANCES MURPHY