2019-05-01+PC+Gamer

B

ulletstormisthe
stupidestgameever
made.Everything
aboutthisgameis
stupid.Yourcharacter
isstupid.Youralliesarestupid.
Yourenemiesareverystupid.The
weaponsaredaft.Theskillshot
systemisabsurd.Thescriptalmost
pridesitselfonhowmuchrank
idiocyitcancramintoeveryline.
Eventhesettingisstupid,aholiday
resortbuiltusingprisonlabouron
analienplanetsohostilethatit
rainsgammaradiation.

You’dbeforgivenforthinkingthat
Bulletstormwasdevelopedby
semi-concussed jocks during a
two-year long frat party. It makes
Gears of War look sensible, an
impression that is probably the main
reason why it sold a pitiful number of

copieswhenitoriginallyreleasedin

2011.Thegamehassuchabrashand

puerileexteriorthatitputalotof

peopleoffplaying.

That’ssuchashame,because

beneaththefathom-thickveneerof

dumbnessisoneofthecleverest

shootersdesignedthissideofthe

millennium.Everystupidthingthat

Bulletstormdoeshasbeendesigned

withahugeamountofthought.

Taketheaforementionedsetting.

Yes,buildingaluxuryvacationtown

withabunchofdangerouscriminals

onahighlyirradiatedplanetisa

terribleidea,buttheresultisaplanet

populatedbyhundredsofmutated

psychopathsjustdesperatetogreet

your bullets with their faces.

You play Grayson Hunt, a

mercenary who formerly worked as

an assassin for prize interstellar

scumbag General Sarrano. When

HuntrealisedSarranohadbeen

sendinghimtomurderinnocent

people,hewentrogueandsethis

sightsonSarranohimself.Bulletstorm

beginsasHuntencountersSarrano’s

flagship,theUlysses,inorbitaround

PlanetButlins.Withhisfour-man

crew,Huntembarksuponafrontal

assaultthatwouldformtheclimax

ofanyothershooter,endingwith

Huntusinghisownshipasamissile

topunchaholethroughtheUlysses,

sendingbothvesselscrashingdown

totheplanet’ssurface.

StupidiSaSStupiddoeS

One thing I’ve always admired about

Bulletstorm is its sheer breakneck

pace. The prologue alone gets

through about four missions’ worth

of content, including a flashback

sequence where you use gravity boots

to walk down the side of a skyscraper.

By the time the game commences

proper,twoofGrayson’s crew are

Bulletstorm

needtoknow

releaseD

February25, 2011

PUBlisHer

EA (now Gearbox)

DeVelOPer

PeopleCanFly/EpicGames

linK

bulletstorm.com

Enjoying the high-kicks and low-brows of this shooter. Byricklane

eXtra liFe

nOWPlaYinG I MODsPOtliGHt (^) I HOWtOI DiarY (^) I REINSTALL (^) I WHYilOVe (^) I MUst PlaY
That’s an epic flail.