I
n thetimeit takesfor
youtoreadthisstory,at
leastthreepeoplein the
UKwillhavedeveloped
dementia.It’snot
justtheelderlywhoare
suffering– a growing
numberofadultsunder 65
arebeingdiagnosedwith
early-onsetdementia.
Everysinglecaseis
different,asdementiaisasymptomfoundinmany
diseasesofthebrain.But
onefactorthatlinksallcases
istheeffectthatithasonthe
familiesofthosediagnosed.
Helplesslywatchingyour
lovedonedeteriorateinfront
ofyoureyes,andforgetwho
youare,isa tragedyaffecting
millionsofpeopletoday.We
speaktotwocouplesabout
theirexperiences.Wespeaktotwocoupleswhose
liveshavechangedirrevocably
duetothisdevastatingdisease
DEMENTIA
Life, love and
‘THEMANI FELLFORIS STILLTHERE’
LouisaLawrenson,43,is anactressfromSurrey.Husband
Jerry,55,hasParkinson’s,cognitiveimpairmentanddementia.‘I’DNEVER
FELT SO
ALONE’
JERRY SAYS:
Dementia has taken every characteristic and
skill which made up my identity. Now I’m in
daily pain – and though they can’t give me
a prognosis, I often feel as though I’m sitting
here waiting for death. I try to stay strong for
How the hell did we get here? That was my family, but every day is a struggle.
the question I asked myself when my
husband Jerry picked up a vase to throw
at me. He had no idea who I was and kept
asking if I was trying to kill him. Our
lives had changed so dramatically.
For the five years after we got together
in 2001, me aged 25 and
Jerry aged 37, we had been
inseparable, partying into
the night, socialising with
friends and watching shows
at the theatre. We were both
actors – and Jerry worked
regularly, performing on
stage as well as in TV shows such as The
Bill and Sherlock Holmes. Outside work,
you’d always find him at parties reeling
off one of his many hilarious jokes. To
me, he was always the funniest, kindest
and most intelligent man in the room.
Shortly after our son, Jack, was born in2006, I noticed
some changes
i n Jer r y ’s
behaviour. He
seemed quieter and his moods were
lower, but anti-depressants only pushed
him deeper into his sadness. And then,
in 2009, he started having
feelings of stiffness in
his arm. Soon after, a
neurologist told us that
Jerry had Parkinson’s.
It was devastating –
he was only 45. The
neurologist assured us
there was a lot medicine could do to ease
the symptoms. And for the first three
years, the drugs seemed to work.
But as time went on, Jerry seemed to
be struggling. He found it difficult to
tell his usual jokes, he couldn’t roll
a cigarette and he became confusedby his mobile phone.
Countless tests followed – and in 2014,
Jerry was diagnosed with cognitive
impairment, dementia and aphasia, a
speech impairment. We went home and
cried for hours, but I promised Jerry I’d
support him through all this.
Things moved quickly. Months later,
Jerry couldn’t remember his lines or
speak in the eloquent way he’d done
since his acting career began. It became
so distressing, Jerry suffered anxiety
attacks on stage. He began directing
instead, but soon that became too much.
When we thought things couldn’t get
any worse, Jerry started to experience
hallucinations and episodes of psychosis,
a common symptom of dementia. And
that’s when the vase incident happened.