usually “pleads the fifth”—choosing not to talk to you—you’ve become the
enemy. Your only crime has been to become too close to someone who
can’t tolerate it.
This is in very sharp contrast to life in the inner circle with someone
secure.
THE INNER CIRCLE WHEN YOU’ RE TREATED
LIKE ROYALTY
- Your well-being comes second to none.
- You are confided in first.
- Your opinion matters most.
- You feel admired and protected.
- Your need for closeness is rewarded with even more
closeness.
Many people in anxious-avoidant relationships think that the “royal inner
circle” doesn’t really exist, and that all people have the same inner-circle
experience. They assume that other people are simply not being honest
about what goes on behind closed doors. But we’re here to tell you that it
does exist and it’s not even a rare occurrence. After all, secure people make
up over 50 percent of the population and their inner circle is treated like
royalty.
“Smoking Guns” in Marsha and Craig’s Story
Within the first weeks and months (!) of Marsha and Craig’s
relationship, various signs—as obvious as smoking guns at a crime
scene—could have alerted Marsha to the trap she was getting into:- Craig ignored Marsha when she came to cheer him on during
track practice. - He tried to hide the fact that they were a couple.
- He was surprised that Marsha stopped seeing her ex-
boyfriend (suggesting that he didn’t value commitment