friendship
CalmMoment.com 97A
year ago, I emptied my London flat
of the final few boxes and locked the
door for the last time. I cried as my
partner and I got in the van and set
off on the M 1 towards Yorkshire – our
new home – in part because I was nervous about
the big change, but mostly because I was leaving
behind my best friends.
When I went to university more than a decade
ago, it didn’t take long to work out who I would
become close to. A few years later, I moved to the
capital and met another group of friends. We soon
became inseparable, seeing each other every week
to vent over wine or coffee, if not every few days.
As we navigated the occasional rough-ride of our
20 s, we supported each other through break-ups,
minor catastrophes, rogue career moves, illnesses
and bereavements. I learned that best friendship is
like being on standby – you’re there for your
friends when times are tough, but it’s never an
imposition, because they are there for you too.
Over time, though, my friends began to move
away. One went back to her native US. Another
to Portugal. Then at the end of 2018 , it was my turn.
After eight years in the capital, I moved up north to
be closer to family and experience a change of pace.It’s relatively easy to be there for someone
when you are a short bus ride away. When you’re
separated by more than that – whether it’s a five-
hour drive or a flight – it certainly makes things
more challenging. Although it might not be easy
to be there for your friends physically, however,
it’s not impossible to preserve what you had.
And since the big move, I’ve found out that
long-distance friendships can be more rewarding
and beneficial for my mental health than I had
ever imagined.
We might not see one another every other day
like we used to, but I’ve found the time we do spend
together means a lot more. As soon as we’re on
the sofa together eating snacks or in the pub over
a bottle of red, it’s like nothing has changed; we slip
back into being completely comfortable around
each other – the foundation for a good friendship.
“When you see a friend in person infrequently,
the time spent together is especially significant
and memorable,” says life coach Alison Goldie
(alisongoldiecoach.com). “When your friend visits
you, take it as an opportunity to reinvent your
routine life and make a holiday in your own town,
visiting a beautiful place on your doorstep you’ve
never been to or going to that exciting newOut of sight doesn’t have to mean out of mind.
Lydia Smith discovers the unexpected joys that
long-distance friendships can bring
Far-away
friends
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