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Maranda Pleasant
Instagram: @marandapleasant
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Abusers will almost always blame you for it. It’ll be “your
fault,” so when they gaslight you, you’ll be able to recognize
it now. Yes, it is shocking, but it’s in their playbook. They don’t celebrate your accomplishments and belittle
your wins. I dated a guy who resentfully said, “I’m always
your plus one” when I took him to Necker Island to meet
Richard Branson and to events that I’d worked for years
to speak at or attend. I always felt I had to earn love or
impress people, so it was crushing. You’ll always be too
much or not enough. You’ll never win with an abusive
person. My success made him feel small, and even angry.
They’ll say you’re crazy in order to discredit you, and they’ll It’s a pattern in many unkind partnerships.
try to take away any credibility from anything you say.Watch the one that starts spinning stories right out of the
gate after a breakup or incident. People who have been
abused or mistreated are generally silent in the beginning
so they can heal and process the trauma. By the time they
can speak about it, the abuser has spun a story and a proper
character assassination so you’ll seem less believable.You start to feel small, your confidence slowly erodes, and
you feel so bad about yourself after a while that you question
your worth to the point where leaving is frightening. A family
member once said to me, “Who would want me, look at me,”
when it was time to leave an unhealthy relationship. The
damage can be subtle and slow in the beginning, but you can
always recognize it in the end.It’s Your Fault.It’s Your Fault. You Shrink You Shrink^
Your Wins.Your Wins.
You’re Totally Crazy.You’re Totally Crazy.
They Create the They Create the
False False Narrative.Narrative.
Trauma Feels Trauma Feels
Familiar.Familiar.
You Lose Confidence. You Lose Confidence.
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Childhood Trauma + Bad Relationships
Abuse often Abuse often
feels like home feels like home
if you were if you were
trAtrAumumAtized Atized
As A child.As A child.
If you had an abusive, traumatic childhood, you might not
recognize the red flags because they seem so familiar, like
home. Abuse often feels like home to the traumatized child.11 MANTRAMAGAZINE.COM