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From Tragedy to Passion
Moving Through Grief, Trauma and Loss
My childhood was far from typical.
I remember the day well that my
six-foot-two, ex-Hell’s Angel dad
announced that our family would
move from the big city of San Diego
to the rural county of Humboldt in
Northern California. After changing
locations, schools and friends a few
times each year as a child, it seemed
we had finally found home. A few
short years after relocating and
settling in, my mom was in a fatal car
accident, and her body was recovered
from the river 18 months later. At
13 years old, I observed the different
ways that my siblings and father tried
to cope with the tragedy we suffered
just two weeks before Christmas.#1 Never turn to vices
like food, drugs or al-
cohol for “comfort.”
I get it. I understand how food stuffs
emotions down. I know how easy it
is to have a doctor prescribe a little
pill to take the edge off, or to
help you sleep at night after
going through something as
tragic as losing a loved one or
friend. Don’t be fooled by
the temporary “comfort” it
may offer. Creating a bad
habit is not a good trade-
off. It’s okay to FEEL
emotions!I was married just out of
high school, and was happy
to announce to my friends
and family that we were
expecting our first child
at the age of 22. Just
five short months after
our son’s birth, myhusband was killed in an accident
the day before Thanksgiving. To say
I felt heart-broken would be a vast
understatement. I didn’t allow myself
to sink into unproductive thoughts
about “what would never be.” Instead,
I made a conscious decision to avert
my attention and thoughts to my
present and future life.#2 Find something to
be passionate about.
I become obsessed with learning
WHY we as people feel the way
we do. This deep curiosity opened
the doors to WELLNESS. Instead
of sinking into depression, I made
a conscious choice to learn about
my feelings of grief, and how to
experience joy after loss. Too many
people suffer when they experience
loss. Find something to be passionate
about. Absorb yourself into something
positive while giving yourself
permission to feel, grieve
and HEAL!I watched my
dad and sister
taketheir final breaths after losing their
battles to cancer. A few years later, my
youngest sister and brother both died
from preventable issues. From these
tragedies, my mission became crystal
clear!#3 The Law of Flow.
When you are grieving, offer comfort.
When you are struggling, offer
support. When you need a hug, give
a hug. I know this may sound silly,
but abiding by this law has changed
my life!Losing my family has pulled out of
my soul a PASSION to help and to
LOVE people, and to live my best
life. You have continuous CHOICE to
focus on hurt, grief and pain OR to
nurture passion, empathy, love. Life is
all about choices that we make daily.
Those choices are cumulated and
make up our experience of life.
What YOU choose is completely up
to you!Diana Gotcher Instagram: @diana.gotcher | dianagotcher.com | Life Coach & Published Author
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