Frankie201811-12

SUNBITES GRAIN WAVES

PLUS BEETROOT SWEET

CHILLI JAM

I still remember my first

time with Grain Waves. It

was around 2010, and every

Friday night at work we’d

convene in the boardroom

to eat chips, lollies and

drink cheap wine. Grain

Waves remind me of being

slightly drunk and saying

inappropriate things to

colleagues – I love that

flavour. I was also quite a fan

of the flavour in this pack.

Do I think they’ve improved

the product by adding

beetroot powder? No, not at

all. They’re chips; we need

to stop pretending they’re

healthy in any way. I don’t

buy chips to get abs and

clearer skin. However, the

very ’90s addition of sweet

chilli jam was a delicious

nostalgia kick. That moreish

tang! While I’d be ashamed

to serve these to guests at a

party, I’d happily eat a whole

packet in bed by myself after

kicking my guests out. CC

SMITH’S MEXICAN BURRITO

POTATO CHIPS

Mexican food madness is still

rife in Australia. From fine

dining to roadside trucks, if

you add the words ‘taco’ or

‘burrito’ to your menu, expect

a queue. I didn’t have to

queue to get into this packet

of chips, which is a relief,

because that would be strange

and off-putting. Something

I did find a little off-putting,

though, was the packaging –

that fleshy, beef-filled burrito

was quite confronting. And it

wasn’t just the meat, either;

it looks like a bad burrito, the

kind a uni student (probably

an engineering major)

might make. Maybe that’s

the market, and if so, good

job, Smith’s. These are your

classic ‘work farewell party’

chips. While I enjoyed the

intensity of flavour, I wasn’t

convinced it was Mexican

I was eating, more spiced-up

tomato. But maybe that’s what

engineering-student packet-

mix Mexican burritos taste like.

I can live with that. CC

KETTLE SWEET POTATO

SEA SALT CHIPS

The packet felt light. That’s
always my biggest gripe
with chips; there’s rarely any
heft to the bag. Normally,
Kettle Chips make up for it
with golden, salty crispness,
but not so much this time.
I found myself elbow-
deep in a packet of sweet
slivers of oil, with only the
barest hint of salt. I kept
eating in the hope of hitting
some reservoir of flavour
beyond the sweetness of
the potato, but I was hardly
even dehydrated by the time
I reached the bottom of
the pack. The sweet potato
worked fine, but it wasn’t
the stiff salt magnet the
good old white potato is.
It was, and I mean this as
a compliment, like eating
the scrapings from a pan
of roasted sweet spuds.
It felt like Kettle was so
preoccupied with sweet
potato as a wacky ingredient
that they forgot the salt and
flavour. CC

INDOMIE CHITATO MI GORENG

POTATO CHIPS

Like many millennials, I’m

always on the lookout for new

and creative ways to engage

in self-flagellation, so you can

only imagine the excitement

I felt when I first laid eyes on

this packet of Mi Goreng chips.

Inspired by the instant noodles

favoured by broke students

and divorced dads worldwide,

the first thing I noticed upon

cracking the packet was a

pungent aroma. A unique

waft combining the scents of

mouldy takeaway containers

and general fishiness filled the

air. How could I bring myself

to consume these stinky

shavings? Was my life really at

such a low point? Surprisingly,

the answer was yes. Despite

tasting like a confused

herring, the salty crunch

activated my taste buds in a

primal manner and I somehow

consumed the whole bag

almost immediately. Would

recommend to anyone who

needs an extra little boost of

self-loathing. DF

road test