http://www.climber.co.uk may–jun 2020 33
And when you’re there, there’s Lone
Tree Groove. This cack-handed jelly
wrestle is essentially one move, all
based around a rubbish jam where it
is impossible to feel any security. Using
this you must give birth to yourself into
the easy upper groove. What a bastard.
THE DARK HALF
From Birch Tree Wall, VS-anistas must
take themselves round left to the dark
half, the fern-bullied, shadowy, Congo
Corners of the North Wall. Things start to
get really good there. Lean Man’s Climb,
Lean Man’s Superdirect and Sand Buttress.
Three amazing climbs. Part of the job of
guide-booking is ascribing stars to climbs.
I think I gave these all three stars but as I
sit here, now, I hope I didn’t; these climbs
are better than that. Three stars is for
boring climbs, flawless climbs. If you want
three stars go to Stanage and join the
queues. These great Black Rocks’ master-
pieces are a bit more real than that. Maybe
a bit of polish, a fern here and there?
On one of these climbs the first ascension-
ist, Alf Bridge, put his finger in a pocket
and it came out all wet. When he peered
in, he saw he had squashed a little baby
bat – catastrophically so. They all blur into
my mind to be honest, as they all play the
same tune. Great big graspy jugs, swinging
traverse sections, fabulous hand-cracks,
breath-taking steepness for sections,
bomber gear. Oh man, it’s all such a drag.
There are more VSs thereabouts- Queen’s Parlour Slab with its long
run-out up a blunt nose, The Hush, a
lovely VS 4c solo that I perhaps did the
first ascent of, although I had long got
out of the habit of actually claiming
things, but for me, the last great Black
Rocks VS is Black Crack.
I was in Bristol recently and, after a
skinfull and a portion of chips and curry
sauce, I wandered down a back lane for a
pee. I looked up and there it was. Banksy’s
Girl with Pearl Earring. I’d seen it in images
and always liked it and here it was now up
some grubby lane. Similarly, Black Crack.
Scramble up a gully, broken glass, rusty
cans and thick shiny grass, and there it
is. A plate of grit leaning against the crag
to form a perfect three-inch fissure. The
first time I saw it I was soloing about and
just saw it before me. I put two hands in
and found myself getting sucked upwards
on perfect jams and all too soon, it’s over.
For me this is as good as The File on
Higgar, only a lot more private.AROUND THE SIDE
But there’s a lot more to Black Rocks than
VS, and here are my favourite experiences.
There’s a block up and right, known
as The Block. This holds slab test-pieces
in the E6/E7 range but on its front, facing
Birch Tree Wall, is a beautiful, very short
flake taken by an E2 6b called Golden Days- micro-heaven. As I remember it’s only
about four moves long, and two of these
are to place the gear. The moves flow
into each other so beautifully and there
isn’t an inch of fat on the whole route.
BACK TO FRONT
Back to the front face, around Birch Tree
Wall. In the years since 1988, and my
Dawes worship, my climbing improved
along with my love of gritstone till one
day I was under the crux moves of Gaia.
It’s hard to put across how beautiful this
E8 6c is.The line is not full-frontal but 6Black Rocks – Rejoice
VS-aniStaS muSt take
themSelVeS round
left to the dark half
8 Kevin Jorgeson on his
successful lead of Gaia (E8 6c)
at Black Rocks. He fell from
close to this point on his
previous attempt. Photo:
David Simmonite4 Alex Honnold soloing
Meshuga (E9 6c) on The
Promontory at Black Rocks.
He enjoyed the route so
much that he soloed it a total
of four times during his trip
back in 2008. The route is
normally led, though without
any gear until after the hard
climbing Alex couldn’t see
the point in using a rope.
Photo: David Simmonite