The Psychology of Friendship - Oxford University Press (2016)

(Brent) #1
ix

FOREWORD


Friendship is a commonplace notion, familiar to and cherished by people around
the world and across history. The capacity for friendship is as fundamental to the
human condition as are familial attachment; romantic, conjugal, and sexual lov-
ing; competition; and conflict (Brain, 1976). Since the time of Aristotle, friend-
ship has been recognized as essential to the well- lived life. However, only in the last
35 years has markedly increased social scientific empirical work emerged address-
ing friendship as a distinctive category of human experience, cognitive and moral
development, personal and social relationship, and communicative, associational,
and political activity (Rawlins, 2009). Despite and perhaps because of its perva-
sive presence in human life, the word “friendship” references a vexing, intellectually
captivating, continually evolving, and diversely apprehended array of phenomena.
In this foreword, I point out why friendship is so vital yet elusive to study, and there-
fore why the present volume offers a worthwhile snapshot of this moment in the
ever- unfolding saga and study of human friendship.
The words “friend” and “friendship” are used to describe a gamut of human
relationships— ranging from long- standing attachments of considerable affection
and loyalty, to someone just met at a bar or sports event, to a purchased affiliation
with a library, museum, or opera house. Further complicating matters, friendship
is unique in its capacity to arise as a free- standing relationship on its own terms
between two persons, or as a sincerely lived dimension of other relationships, such as
the friendship developed between siblings, spouses, parents and children, or cowork-
ers. In these instances friendship is not a necessary part of the relationship; countless
such bonds exist devoid of friendship. It is a negotiated attachment between per-
sons that always reflects shared personal dispositions and material sociocultural pos-
sibilities. You cannot force or require friendship of any genuine emotional validity
between people; and friendship may be restricted, prohibited, or even unthinkable
in certain circumstances. Meanwhile, with the rapid proliferation of social media, the
verb forms and related practices of “to friend” and “friending” someone have further

Free download pdf