Romantic Relationship Termination 179Expectations
Expectations about the future of a relationship have an impact on attention, encod-
ing, memory, thoughts, and affect related to that relationship (Olson, Roese, &
Zanna, 1996). For couples who mutually agree on a future friendship, expecta-
tions about the new relationship can be important. These expectations not only
include the belief that they can be friends after the romance has ended but also the
expectation of how the relationship may progress before and during the breakup.
Postrelationship friendship is less likely to occur if individuals expected a difficult
and painful breakup from their romantic partners. However, if they believed that the
adjustment period would be easier, then they anticipated maintaining contact with
their ex- partners (Boon, Griffith, & Nairn, 2004).
Motivations for Remaining Friends After Dissolution
Ex- partners may have different motivations for remaining friends after breakup. Such
motivations may include hope for romantic reconciliation and developing a harmo-
nious ex- partner relationship. Past research suggests that former romantic partners
may maintain interdependence for functional reasons such as having a shared work-
place or coparenting responsibilities (Adamsons & Pasley, 2006). This research
was expanded in 2009, when Bullock, Hackathorn, Clark, Mattingly, and Dawkins
identified five broad categories that explained motivations to remain friends follow-
ing a breakup, including the categories of relational interdependence (i.e., still feel a
connection to the ex- partner), shared tangible interests (e.g., shared finances, prop-
erty, furniture, etc.), shared social networks (e.g., share friends, fond of ex- partner’s
family), ease of remaining friends (i.e., remaining friends makes breakup easier),
and personal agenda (e.g., romantic reconciliation, revenge). Agenda (e.g., romantic
reconciliation) is an especially interesting motivation to remain friends and addi-
tional research is reviewed in the following sections.
Hope for Romantic Reconciliation
Some ex- partners maintain a friendship in the hope of renewing the romantic rela-
tionship. In fact, many individuals reconcile with their ex- partners and become
involved in “on- again- off- again relationships,” in which ex- partners decide to
rekindle a past relationship (Dailey, Pfiester, Jin, Beck, & Clark, 2009). A friend-
ship is one way that individuals can maintain contact with and stay relevant to an
ex- partner with whom they still desire a romantic relationship. Ex- partners who
remain friends, compared with those who do not, are more likely to desire their
ex- partner and think that their ex- partner still desires him/ her (Schneider & Kenny,
2000). Desirability of the former partner or relationship facilitates the likelihood
of ex- partner friendships, and the perception of desirable personality traits of the