2020-04-01 Reader\'s Digest AUNZ

(avery) #1
Laughter

Finding the Right Fit


A husband and wife who own a
circus walk intoanadoptionagency
looking to adopta child.
“Are you surethecircusisthebest
place for a child?”asksthesocial
worker. “I mean,allthosedangerous
animals, the constanttravelling...”
“The animalsaretrained,”says
the wife. “And wehavea state-of-
the-art 16-metremotorhomethatis
equipped witha largenursery.”
“How will youeducateyour
child?”
“We’ve arrangedfora full-
time tutor to teachalltheregular
subjects, as wellasMandarinand
computer programming,”explains
the husband.
“And the nannyiscertifiedin
paediatric care,childwelfareand
nutrition,” thewifeadds.
The social workerisimpressed.
“Well, you do seemperfect.What
age were you lookingtoadopt?”
The husbandsays,“Itdoesn’t
really matter, aslongastheyfit
in the cannon.” PlanetProctor


UNNYFUN
HowdoyouknowtheEasterBunnyisreallysmart?
Becausehe’sanegghead.
Whycouldn’ttherabbitflyhomeforEaster?
Hedidn’thavetheharefare.

Aftera manspenta yeareating
foods past their expiration
dates – including mouldy butter


  • to prove that those dates are
    arbitrary, The Week asked its
    readers to think of titles for an
    outdated-foods cookbook.
    Here are the most appetising:


BEST BEFORE


BU
Q:
A:
Q:
A:

Green Eggs and
Ham and Cheese
and Salami
Eat. Pray. Live?
Pasta Its Prima
Gone Appétit
Mouldies but Goodies
Baking Bad
Better Ate Than Never
The Stale-eo Diet

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