Cosmopolitan US May2020

(Elle) #1

Put THAT in the yearbook. By SAM FEHER


What your senior superlative


should’ve been,


according to this random equation we just made up


HOW DID
YOU
GET TO
SCHOOL?

WHEN WAS
YOUR FIRST
LIP TO LIP?

I was a
“walker”

=


...likely to appear
on Love Is Blind

The bus, just
like everybody
else!
=

...likely to get a
cheap, sponta-
neous tattoo

Mom or Dad
drove me
=

...likely to go
viral on TikTok

My brain blocks
out traumatic
memories?
=

...likely to drop
their skincare rou-
tine when nobody
asked them

ON THE
PLAYGROUND

=


Least...


MIDDLE OR HIGH
SCHOOL...AND I
HAD BRACES

=


Most...






BLAKE
LIVELY

RACHEL
MCADAMS

MILA
KUNIS

Mos
t

like
ly^ to

be^ y
our^
boss

Most
likel
y

to^ sp
ort^1
5

diffe
rent

hair^
color
s

Mos

t (^) lik
to ely
(^) ma
th rry
eir
firs
ki t
ss
Who among us does
not agree that the
high school year-
book committee
was a corrupt bunch
of cons? But now,
we’re serving justice:
Answer the prompts
below and smash
those responses
together to
discover your true
18-year-old identity.
I skipped school
most days


...likely to have a
sandwich named
after them
Twenty
minutes late,
with a latte


...likely to change
their name, move
to a new country,
and start anew
With my cool
older friends


...likely to marry
into the Kar-
dashian family
I came from
sports practice
Every. Single.
Day.


...likely to
“go vegan” for
a week
Wel
co
m
e
to
C
os
m
oH
igh!
Th
rowbac
k
Edition!
you
26 Cosmopolitan May 2020
SP
LA
SH
N
EW
S.
C
O
M
(
3 )
.

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