Cosmopolitan US May2020

(Elle) #1

Turns out, I was


chillin’ in the


womb when he


was tossing back


tequila.


From that point on,


we pretty much dated
exclusively. He met

my family, and I met


his friends. They were


nice enough when we
met up for big group

dinners, but they


never went out of their


Then he accused me


of snooping (an A+


example of gaslight-
ing, friends).

Here’s the part that


re a l l y h a u n t s m e t h o: I


didn’t break up with
him right away. Like

any not not stable


23-year-old, I made a
pro-con list. Pro: He’d

get a senior citizen


rate on movie tickets
soon. Con: What else

was he lying about?


Listen, had Robert
t o l d m e his re a l a g e

straight up, I might not


have let it get so seri-


ous, even though I


liked him for more
than the year he was

born. But the lying,


the gaslighting, the
plotting? Hard pass.

I’ve since moved


on, but it’s still all I
can do now *not* to

say, “Can I see some


ID?” whenever I meet
someone new.

And you thought this
story was cray...read
more of Gabi’s dating
experiences in her
new book, Twenty
Guys You Date in Your
Twenties, $17,
amazon.com.

way to get to know
me—which, in hind-

sight, makes total


sense. (Robert later


admitted that the
“bros” wondered how

long he could “keep


up this act.”)
“What IS THIS?” I

asked after learning


the truth, waving his
license in his face.

The DMV had made a


mistake, he insisted.


If
yo
u
se
em
e
ca
rd
in
g
my
fir
st
da
te
s,
m
in
d
ya
b
us
in
es
s.

CO


RE


Y^


M


AY


W


A
LT


.^ P


RO


PS


S


TY


LE


D
B


Y^


SO


PH


IE


L


EN


G
.


May 2020 Cosmopolitan 87

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