LIVING OUR LIMBIC LEGACY 37(pacifying) behaviors. Since these are outward signals that can be read
in real time, we can observe and decode them immediately and
in context.
Pacifying is not unique to our species. For example, cats and dogs lick
themselves and each other to pacify. Humans engage in much more di-
verse pacification behaviors. Some are very obvious, while others are
much more subtle. Most people would readily think of a child’s thumb
sucking when asked to identify a pacifying behavior, but do not realize
that after we outgrow that comfort display, we adopt more discreet and
socially acceptable ways to satisfy the need to calm ourselves (e.g., chew-
ing gum, biting pencils). Most people don’t notice the more subtle pacify-
ing behaviors or are unaware of their significance in revealing a person’s
thoughts and feelings. That is unfortunate. To be successful at reading
nonverbal behavior, learning to recognize and decode human pacifiers
is absolutely critical. Why? Because pacifying behaviors reveal so much
about a person’s current state of mind, and they do so with uncanny ac-
curacy (see box 10).
I look for pacifying behaviors in people to tell me when they are not
at ease or when they are reacting negatively to something I have done or
said. In an interview situation, such a display might be in response to
a specific question or comment. Behaviors that signal discomfort (e.g.,
leaning away, a frown, and crossed or tense arms) are usually followed by
the brain enlisting the hands to pacify (see figure 8). I look for these be-
haviors to confirm what is going on in the mind of the person with
whom I am dealing.
As a specific example, if every time I ask a subject, “Do you know Mr.
Hillman?” he responds, “No,” but then immediately touches his neck or
mouth, I know he is pacifying to that specific question (see figure 9). I
don’t know if he is lying, because deception is notoriously difficult to de-
tect. But I do know that he is bothered by the inquiry, so much so that he
has to pacify himself after he hears it. This will prompt me to probe fur-
ther into this area of inquiry. Pacifying behaviors are important for an
investigator to note, since sometimes they help uncover a lie or hidden in-
formation. I find pacifying indicators of greater significance and reliabil-
ity than trying to establish veracity. They help to identify what specific