48 | June 2020 |motherandbaby.co.ukTO YOUR DAYBring peaceToddler tantrums. Not fun. But
normal. ‘Tantrums are a response
to the emotions your child is
feeling,’ says psychologist Rebecca
Schrag Hershberg. When he has a
tantrum it is always because he’s
dealing with an emotion he just can’t handle yet.
‘Even as adults, there are moments when we
lose it. And that’s despite having fully developed
brains that help us process those feelings; as well
as coping mechanisms like breathing deeply or
removing ourselves from a fraught interaction.
‘Toddlers don’t have these tools,’ says Rebecca.
‘Their brains are still developing, so they don’t
have the reasoning to help them understand the
situation. And they don’t have the language to
articulate what they’re experiencing, which
heightens the frustration and fear that comes
with feeling emotionally out-of-control.’
So, when a toddler encounters a situation
that makes him feel a strong emotion, that
emotion may quickly start to feel overwhelming.
‘That can happen at any time of day,’ says
Rebecca, ‘but there are key points when your
tot is more likely to find everything too much.
‘I call these “high-demand” times: moments a
child is being asked to do a lot in a short time.’
‘Toddlers already have a tendency to resist
what you want them to do,’ says Rebecca.
‘They want to do things for themselves,
while adults usually want tots to get tasks
done to their schedule. And as kids have no
concept of time, this conflict of interests
can cause irritation on both sides.’
To add fuel to the fire, that demand
overload gets worse if your child is
running low on other reserves: if he’s
tired or hungry, or picking up on
your own frazzled feelings. But the
good news is there are things that
you can do to help your tot
(and yourself) sail through
even the trickiest times of
day.’ Here’s how...Pinpoint your youngster’s meltdown pattern, and it’spossible to sail through toddler tantrums!WORDS KATIE MASTERS PHOTOGRAPHY ISTOCK, GETTY IMAGES, SHUTTERSTOCK