Consider
your internal
dialogue
You drop the dish of food that you’ve
spent all day making for your baby. Do you
ridicule yourself in frustration? Call yourself
stupid? ‘If you wouldn’t speak to your child in
the way you’re speaking to yourself, it’s not
good enough for you either. So try to
introduce a softer, more compassionate
voice,’ says Anna. You can then use this
voice to help coach yourself
through wobbly or anxious
moments.internal self-critical dialogue is a bit
louder. We often feel quite alone with
our feelings, which means we need
to look after ourselves to ensure
we have the energy to be able
to address our thoughts and
to enjoy our children. It’s so
important to engage in little acts
of self-care – simple things like
drinking enough water or going
for a wee when you need to!’
It’s easy to forget to think about
your own needs and feelings when
suddenly all of your love and
attention is on your baby. But loving
and tending to your baby doesn’t mean
that you should stop loving and tending to
yourself. ‘My husband and my children get
to enjoy me a lot more when I’m looking
after myself, because I’m far less
likely to feel resentful, frustrated
and burnt out,’ says Anna.
‘When you’re feeling that way,
you have less resilience against
those anxious thoughts. It’s
all connected.’
So re-frame your thinking- just because anxiety is
commonplace, it doesn’t
have to be your normal. We
do not have to accept joy-
sapping worry and energy-
draining over-thinking as part of
the ‘mum’ job description. Use the
techniques here to experience more
joy, and less anxiety, so you can get your
headspace back, making your mind – and
motherhood – a calmer, happier place to be.
motherandbaby.co.uk | June 2020 | 91Life&Kids