Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

Of course, you’ve got to use your ninety days wisely; a pro-
bationary period means nothing if you’re not putting this guy
through the paces. During that ninety-day period, you should
be checking him out—does he come when he says he’s going to
come; does he call when he’s going to be late; does he like and
care about your friends and, if you have them, your children;
does he express his joy at being in your presence? Most impor-
tant, is this really a man with whom you can see yourself in a
committed relationship? Or do you see signs that make your
God-given intuition kick in? You know how it goes: you
haven’t been invited over to his house, you only have the cell
phone number, he won’t answer his phone when you’re in the
room or he takes hushed calls in the corner where you can’t
hear what’s being said—he tells you he’s dating other women,
or, somehow, you just know he is. These are tendencies you
can’t possibly see in a man you’ve dated for less than ninety days
because guess what? The guy who is dating you just to get the
benefits up front is going to be on his best behavior in the be-
ginning, specifically so he can make you think he’s worthy. But
just as sure as time is going to come and go, he’ll eventually
show his true nature.
Give it at least ninety days, and you can smoke all of that out
of him, so that you can be sure that this guy is the right man for
you. After all, it’s your right to want what you want—and to
actually get it. Put yourself first: ask the five questions (as men-
tioned in the previous chapter), withhold the benefits, and
demand the respect. If you have a high level of respect for your-