RD201902

spent many years working at the Arc
of Onondaga’s vocational division. In
2013, this local chapter of the Arc, a
nationwide community organiza-
tion that advocates for the develop-
mentally disabled, cited Paul’s work
ethic, community service, and good
cheer when it named him Person of
the Year.
DeForge remembered how some
doctors told her “not to expect much”
when Paul was born. Instead, he grew
up to live a successful life that in-
cluded a marriage that has lasted a
quarter century.
Kris has had her struggles too.
While she speaks with passion of the
support of her parents, she spent a
year as a child in a state institution
after her father died young and her
mother became ill. “It was hard,” she
said quietly, recalling the sense of
isolation.
Then and now, she said, some
people could be cruel. She still en-
counters the occasional stranger who
makes casual and wounding use of
the word retard.
The truth is, those people have no
idea how rich and rewarding her life is.
They cannot appreciate how Kris,

a diabetic, has the courage to give

herself insulin injections four times

every day.

They cannot understand how Kris

learned to be a skilled cook and grad-

uated from high school, or how she

gets up in the morning to go to work

in an office mail room, or how she and

Paul maintain a fierce allegiance to

NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr.

They cannot see the kind of com-

mitment that endures after 25 years,

and is every bit as fresh today: “to

have and to hold, in sickness and in

health.”

And they can’t see how, as Kris sits

in her own living room and recalls

those vows from her wedding day, she

is surrounded by photos of herself with

the man who changed her life.

“I LOOKED INTO HIS

EYES,” KRIS SAYS,

“AND I SAW

MY FUTURE.”

rd.com 29

Life Well Lived

buffalo news (february 13, 2018), copyright © 2018

by buffalo news, buffalonews.com.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Whoever came up with the idea of combining diamonds

with marriage must have been pretty smart. What better to symbolize

marriage than the hardest thing known to mankind?

mike dugan, comedian