Wanda: I think this is another example of you Hying off the handle
and overreacting.(Criticizing)I have seen her be very constructive
and reasonable. Maybe you are just not being sensitive to her
concerns. (Siding with the enemy)
Hank: The woman is out to get me.
Wanda: That's your paranoid streak coming out. You've got to try to
control that. (Criticizing)
Hank: Oh, forget it.
Hank: I had another terrible meeting with Ethel today She keeps
challenging my knowledge, and she has been going to the boss
telling him that she doubts my competence. I hate her.
Wanda: I can't believe that woman! She is the meanest fighter and a
terrible gossip. (We against others) What did you say? (Showing
genuine interest)
Hank: I told her she is just out to get me. And that she's not going to
succeed.
Wanda: She can make anyone become paranoid. I'm sorry she's
putting you through this. (Expressing affection) I'd like to get even
with her. (We against others) hank: So would I, but I think it'd be
better to just forget it. Just ignore her.
Wanda: Your boss knows what she's like. Everyone does.
Hank: That's true. He doesn't share her opinions of me, and she goes
around saying everyone is incompetent but her.
Wanda: That's bound to backfire.
Hank: I hope so, or she'll give me an ulcer.
Wanda: This is really stressing you out! I can understand why
(Validating emotions) you know, she's given her husband one.
Hank: He has an ulcer?
Wanda: I just heard about it.
Hank: Good Lord!
Below are some sample scenarios to help you practice being
supportive during your spouse's whining session.