- My partner is not rational enough to take seriously when we discuss
our issues. T F - I believe in lots of give and take in our discussions. T F
- I am very persuasive and usually can win arguments with my spouse.
T F - I feel I have an important say when we make decisions. T F
- My partner usually has good ideas. T F
- My partner is basically a great help as a problem solver. T F
- I try to listen respectfully, even when I disagree. T F
- My ideas for solutions are usually much better than my spouse's. T F
- I can usually find something to agree with in my partner's position.
T F - My partner is usually too emotional. T F
- I am the one who needs to make the major decisions in this marriage.
T F
Scoring:
- Give yourself one point for each "true" answer, except for
questions 5, 8, 10, 12, 17, 19, 20. - Subtract one point for each "true" answer to questions 5, 8, 10,
2, 17, 19, 20.
6 or above: This is an area of strength in your marriage. You
willingly cede power to your spouse, a hallmark of an emotionally
intelligent marriage.
Below 6: Your marriage could stand some improvement in this
area. You are having some difficulty accepting influence from your
spouse, which can cause a marriage to become dangerously unstable.
The first step in righting the situation is to understand just what it
means to accept influence. Reread this chapter if you're still unclear
about why it is so essential to share power with your partner. Then
the following exercises will show you how to do so.
Exercise 1: Yield to WinBelow is a series of common situations faced by couples I've studied.
Try to visualize these scenes as if you and your wife were the ones
having this conflict. (Wives who are doing this exercise should flip